100 Replies to “An Irish Joke”

  1. When I live in Wisconsin some of these jokes where Polish jokes. The Pollacks and the Irish are good people.

  2. I've got a great recipe for Irish chili. It's called Irish Chili because you only use two hundred thirty-nine beans. You'll ruin it if you add one more bean because it would then become toofarty.

  3. The Irish man who sued over a joke.

    It would be helpful to cite the altogether reliable publication from which the anecdote is drawn. The names of those involved can then be ascertained, since they're a matter of public record. Details as to location, date of incident, witnesses- anything at all, really- to demonstrate that we're talking about a real occurrence, could be included. As well, the assertion that a formal complaint was lodged over this joke can doubtless be substantiated in straightforward fashion. Who brought the complaint, and against whom? Which official body or court of law registered the complaint, and what action was taken? How much money was paid out in this case, and in which jurisdiction?

    Because otherwise, it looks very much as though this entire story is a ridiculous fabrication published for the sole purpose of providing a platform from which to launch a cheerful racist soliloquy, while striking a fearless blow against that bete noire of decent English souls, Political Correctness Gone Mad.

  4. LIBERALS who get offended for other people who are not themselves offended are so so boring. On a par with the characters who think of themselves as good people yet act in ways that perpetuate society’s dysfunction – usually the same SJW?. BTW I am Irish and occasionally I do find Pat a bit OTT but generally I learn something from him and some of these Irish jokes kinda funny in a silly sort of way. Hold that pig while I fill me clay pipe begorrah now Mick!!.

  5. I don't like too much absurd 💻 either but I dislike my nationality being slurred in this way . Smacks of the colonial period .

  6. It was an Englishman who wrote the first book on sexual foreplay. It was Scot who read it and tried it with women instead.

  7. Pat Condom wasn't funny when he was a comedian. Now he's just a knob with a boring voice.

    At least the Irish can tell a joke.

  8. Christ almighty, how could anyone be offended by that quasi-joke? What a pathetic little spunk bubble.

    I had to laugh at the wisdom tooth one. It's just so stupid.

  9. I,m Irish and I am not offended at all. It seems this Uber sensitivity and culture of offence has even infected Ireland as well. It used to be a country that never took itself too seriously, was laid back and we could laugh at ourselves. The left has won the culture war but thanks to Pat Condell the left hasn't got it all their own way anymore.

  10. I agreed with you Pat at the beginning. But come on Pat in a bizarre way your trying to prove your Englishness here using your Irish pass to tell Irish jokes. How many Irish people have sued for Irish jokes out of how many Irish in England? Your acting like a radio jock telling people what they want to hear.

  11. Pat, fuck the Irish joke. We want the Muslim jokes. MUSLIM JOKES! Where are they? Are you too frightened to tell 'em?

  12. Yup, like What makes the English superior? Nothing, nothing at all. Or maybe Germany, or the German economy being better than yours?! Or the Germans having an English Queen? Just saying. oh and finishing with stupid thick irish mick, just undermined yer prologue, but not surprising

  13. An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a pub, and they each order a beer. Before they can drink, a fly lands in each beer. The Englishman turns up his nose and says, "I say! Could I have a fresh pint?" The Scotsman just says, "Och!" flicks the fly out and has a drink. But the Irishman picks up the fly by the wings, shakes it, and says, "Spit it out, ya bastard! Spit it out!". LOL

  14. I have Irish ancestors, and quite a few Irish friends. ALL of them have a sense of humour. The only reason that anyone would sue over being offended is a feckin' liar, and a greedy swine.

  15. Paddy and Mick are up the pub having a Guinness. Paddy looks thoughtful and announces, 'oim tinkin o gettin meself a dahhg'.
    Mick looks intently at him an asks, 'so, whaahht toip would ye be gettin?'
    Paddy says, 'I wahhnt one o dem Labradors, there a loovley friendly moot'.
    Mick acquires a look of horror and exclaims, 'oh, be jeezuz, Paddy, oi wooldn't be gettin one o dem ter be shure!'
    Paddy asks, 'and why nahht?'
    Mick says, 'well, look how many yer see have gone bloind after they get em'.

    Next is a true story: I was at work in the meal room reading about the early days of Iceland when I came to a paragraph that spoke of Irish slaves that were imported for the use of the Norse nobles. Next to me was Sean, an Ulsterman who has one of the thickest Belfast accents I've ever heard. I said to him, 'hey Sean, look at this. Did you know they used Irish slaves in Iceland back in the 1600s?'
    Sean regards my comment for a few festering seconds then replies, 'wiell, if yer goin ter 'ave sliaves yer may's well 'ave the bieeest'!!
    I and a few others rolled about laughing for some time after that gem.

  16. Iam IRISH and like a good joke no matter who it's about .he the lad that got affended must be one of the new breed of immigrants from IRELAND bleed us dry then head over to Britain to get some more easy money

  17. An Irishman is on his first day working construction so they tell him to hold the nails.  He starts throwing about half of them away so they ask what he's doing. 
    "They're pointed in the wrong direction." he says.
    "You Fool! They're for the other side of the house."

  18. Sure you can make jokes about the Irish but please don't make fun of us Scots who contributed so much to society.  For instance one day two scots were arguing over a penny and invented copper wire.

  19. Bejasus, Pat, you got me there! Imagine that, now, getting money simply for being annoyed. Mebe the Irish have one or two tricks left up their sleeves.

    Here's one Irishman to another, doing the crossword in the newspaper. Sheamus: "it says here, 'old MacDonald had one's " – (four letters) ? AYE that's a difficult one right enough, Paddy! Sheamus: wait a minute, I think I've gorrit Paddy! I think it's e-i-e-i-oh!

  20. Remember that lawyers are part of the ruling parasitical "elite". With any compensation claim its all part of the legal merry-go-round system where Judges, law makers and Lawyers have formed a cabal to milk the tax paying populous, there is no intention of fairness and justice, that's why we have all these spurious cases that shouldn't even see the inside of a court room. Hopefully now the money has run (or running) out we will see less of this obvious greedy opportunism. On a side note, Irish jokes were an inclusive humour born out by the fact the biggest Irish joke tellers were the Irish themselves.

  21. You are Irish Patrick so why are you acting british ? Fucking fool you come over here when you were 16 you grew up in Ireland 🇮🇪 I know you , you facing idiot .

  22. lil sam came home after his first day at school
    his proud mam was waiting and asked him
    what he'd like for dinner. Fkg sausages ma.
    came the reply.
    shocked the mum went to his dad who was having
    an afternoon kip and told him about sam's language.
    Sam's dad went to the room where sam sat and
    pulled off his thick leather belt and snarled
    what did you want for your dinner sam
    sam was petrified
    well i don't want any fkg sausages.

  23. Im Irish and not offended by Irish jokes…. Then again we don't follow the religion of the perpetually offeneded

  24. What was the best Irish invention…………ejector seats in helicopters. (think about it) What was the second best ……….fly screens on submarines.

  25. Great! Very applicable to Kendrick Lamarr humiliating a white fan he brought on stage to sing a long with him to his song that had the word 'nigga' in it some 15 times.When she sang the word he then humiliated her on stage in front of an audience of whites & blacks,making her apologize.Whites that support 'black music' that demeans them are the real idiots.

  26. Pat are you sure that some of those jokes weren't Polack jokes. If you can't laugh at yourself then what good are you?

  27. Two Irishmen had just gotten of the boat in New York. Being new to the US they decided that what they needed was a car. Pooling their money they came up with $200, so off they go to a used car dealer. The used car dealer informed them that he had no car that he could sell them for that amount, but he did have a camel that an Arab had traded in on a Lincoln. They discuss it and decide to take the deal so they jump on the camel and take off down the road. After a while it became lunch time and the used  car dealer got into his car and started to lunch. Two blocks down he looks over and sees the two Irishmen standing on the corner so he pulls over and asks "what happened to the camel I sold you"?The two Irishmen replied "well we were going down the road and we came to this stop light.Some guy pulled up behind us and we heard him say "Hay look at those two ass holes on that camel", so we got off and went around to look and the camel ran off and left us."

  28. Many years ago an acqauibtance retured to Australia from his native Ireland after a holiday. He brought with him a coffee mug with the handle on the inside.

  29. I'm here in the US and my two faves to use on St. Patty's day are… (used on a good looking woman)
    You must be Irish because my cock is double'n

    Got any Irish in ya? Want some more?

  30. THE best Irish jokes were told by Irish Comedians. Google Dave Allen,Frank Carson and Neil Delamare. 3 very funny Irish men who did or do Irish jokes. It's like Jewish humour_ best heard by the likes of Jackie Mason,Jerry Seinfeld,Woody Allen and Joan Rivers. Lighten up and wind your necks in FFS! 🙃

  31. Have you heard of Sinéad O’Connor? Her Muslim name now is Shuhada’ Davitt. She’s an even bigger Irish Joke. How can she be defending Islam AND women at the same time? Also, she’s the racist.

  32. .
    And I was blogeoned by the Iris Joke most of my life! And I'm Portuguese. And I was raped repeatedly for years with the Polish joke! And I'm Portuguese. And I am sure that anyone reading this must be scratching their heads (some of you have two heads…it was a typo, and I thought it looked cool, so I kept it!) So the person reading this is scratching his heads, thinking " that doesn't make sense!') And here is the answer to your double headed confused state:


    🐧🍍 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

    And when I got big enough to leave the Hawaiian Hell that I grew up in, I took my fucking pineapple with me! That pineapple is my life!
    And btw, Aloha also means

    FUCK YOU!!!

  33. For the most part the Irish find jokes about themselves to be funny and have thick skin and often repeat these jokes. The latest Brexit nonsense seems to show there are a lot of English who have very thin skin.

  34. I've never know an Irishman that did not have a great sense of humor and was not fast on his feet in a conversation. Maybe the person that Pat was referring to was a Brit posing as a Mick.


  36. Well said pat love that one blew my mind loving it keep it going pat you are waking the sleepers from there stupa

  37. I'm Irish and think that many of the Irish jokes are very funny indeed. I've tried the ice cube myself and found that it worked perfectly!

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