Comedian Ahamed Weinberg Talks Being a White Muslim In America


this is a lucky all Just for Laughs
comedy festival cannot resist Galileo that J of it my name is a Hamid
Weinberg thank you my parents wrote that joke appreciate
I am I’m happy to be in Canada guys good to be out of America because I’m a white
Jewish Muslim vegetarian I have to live like a Hamid Weinberg is not safe
everywhere you know I have to live in liberal bubbles that’s basically like
any city where they pretend weed is medicine basically that’s where I’m safe
you know and I say pretend cuz I know weed isn’t medicine and I know that
because there’s no legitimate medicine called
purple nurple you know that shit’s cry don’t know how we got this far with that
like some woman in Congress like what my son has seizures every day he needs the
Hulk’s to get to school my parents are Muslim a lot of people are scared of
Islam but they’re just normal homophobic parents you know and you know what I’m
not angry at my parents for being homophobic cuz like I don’t know what
kind of ignorant I’m gonna be I haven’t gotten there yet like I’ll be at the
table with my family one day just like listen ain’t no computer my daughter that’s why I’m as scared of Technology
as my parents are of gay people which makes sense you know like I’m scared I
think there’s gonna be a nap soon that replaces the police
you know how Eber replaced cabs and then tinder replaced our hearts in a way
there’s gonna be an app to replace the cops it’ll be called help it’s just like
spell to the Y somehow and your house is getting robbed you’re like let’s call it
help and help it’s just gonna be a bunch of
unemployed Millennials who just like happen to own guns you know it’s just
like Andrew with an ak-47 we’ll be there in 23 minutes like three stars what the Andrew shows the plays like sorry my
uber drivers an idiot my parents are scared of gay people I’m
scared of Technology my grandma’s just scared of email that’s pretty much it at
this point she just doesn’t like email cuz she doesn’t like get it
you know which blows my mind cuz you know what I don’t get is the regular
mail the Reg you have you seen the regular mail every time I put a letter
in a mail box my first thought is there’s no way that works there’s how how does that box next to the trash can
do that a white Muslim it’s an interesting
reality first of all my name’s a Hamid it’s not Mohammed which is more
confusing like my phone didn’t know what a Hamid was like the first time I type
my name into my phone I typed a Hamid and it immediately autocorrect too
ashamed that was a tough moment for me and then I was like you know what I am
ashamed that’s it that’s right because I I’m a white Muslim which is weird
because I know if I looked Muslim my life would be much harder in America but
I’m white and it’s great I think that’s the secret if you want to be Muslim just be white
and have red hair and make sure your last name is Weinberg I think people why
it’s just it’s a completely unfair advantage you know it’s like having a
motorcycle in the traffic jam of races it’s like every day you look around
people are like I’m stuck you know I can’t get there and white
people are like oh you just go between just zip on through there I’m glad to be
white cuz there was this kid last year at America in Texas he got arrested for
making a clock his name was on med and he brought a clock to school that he
made and they arrested him because they thought it was a bomb and that really
offended me as a Muslim and then I looked up a picture of his clock it’s a pretty balmy clock you know that
was couldn’t have been more like a bomb I think it was it a metal briefcase just
had like red and blue wires sticking out computer chips and like it’s just
classic rush hour to bomb and everyone was like oh this kids a genius he like
went to the White House I was like he didn’t make a clock it was a digital
clock he just took a clock from his dad’s house and made it look like a bomb
all right you guys have been amazing thank you so much thank you

50 Replies to “Comedian Ahamed Weinberg Talks Being a White Muslim In America”

  1. I havenโ€™t heard Justin beabers songs in years….and honestly I hope it stays like that๐Ÿคข๐Ÿคฎ

  2. ๐ŸIf anybody needs some cover art work or promo art work or a promo video dm me ๐Ÿ“ฑ๐Ÿ–ฅ๐Ÿ’ป๐ŸŽฅ๐Ÿ“น๐ŸŽ™letโ€™s get your content going today prices come after the first video the first video is free. Itโ€™s a cold world so your B.O.W BetterOffWinning

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  4. Hilarious ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ the fact that he didnt even lie once!! U actually get autocorrected to "shameful" as soon as u write Ahamed ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

  5. jeez this dudes breathing on the mic thru his nostrils and its annoying af.. thumbs down.. dudes not even funny.. just taking advantage of his background.. not funny at alllllllllllllllllllllllllll

  6. What a way to get the whole croud to dislike you and know you are an idiot: "weed has no medical benefits"

  7. ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

  8. i must say, when i heard about the bomb clock thing i was extremely offended. But i gotta say, just looked it up and it really is a bomby looking clock.

  9. Idk why but i feel like this guy is talking the truth in a way to avoid suspicousness. The zionists and anti-christs are always watching. Technology makes it easy for them to move through in the shadows.

    Guys srsly.If you open your mind and hear what he says.. You can identify clearly he is trying to bring out a message

  10. MY FRIENDS ALWAYS CALLED ME THE MUSLIM JEW. GLAD TO KNOW THERE ARE OTHERS. BTW…Saw him on Colbert tonight…and now I had to see for myself. Glad I came. ๐Ÿคฃ

  11. Speaking as a Jewish, bisexual amputee, I'm so incredibly bored these days with left-wing, spineless kiljoys who insist on challenging comedy based on their own morals and/or ethics. If a joke's funny, it's funny, end of. Okay so some might be deemed to be in bad taste, or offensive to a very specific demographic. Who cares? If I personally find a joke offensive, that's fine. Why should (or would) I expect society en masse to be offended on my behalf? I just find that patronizing. It's worth remembering that offense is only ever taken. It's never given! Thanks for reading, regardless of whether we agree or not.

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