Comedy Central Re-Animated – Patton Oswalt – Creative Depression – Uncensored


(hypnotic flute music) (audience laughing) – My daughter has made my
depression way more creative. Because before my daughter,
my depression was just like hey, you know, everything
you do is going to end in annihilation and entropy
so what’s the point? I’m like shit, you’re right. You win again depression. (audience laughing loudly) But not I got this little
nugget of endorphins, I’m like I don’t give a shit, (cartoon baby punches) who cares, she’s cool. My depression’s like shit. I gotta find another way. So my depression has really
learned to pick its spots. Last time it got me, it was pretty clever, I’ll give it credit. (zips in) It was a Tuesday, like 11 in the morning, and I went to a grocery
store near my house, so just get that visual in your head. It’s a grocery store,
11:00 a.m. on a weekday. There’s like six other people in it. It’s basically empty. I just went in there
like, I’ll walk around, see if I need anything. Which, if you think about
it, is a very debauched Roman emperor way to go shopping, where you’re like, I’ll just walk up, line all of your goods
on parallel shelves. I shall walk by and review
them and see if anything catches my fancy. (wheels squeaking) Work harder for my
attention, hard pretzels, if you want to ride in my chariot. (hypnotic flute music) I end up in the frozen food aisle. I’m looking at a shelf of Lean Cuisines. So get that visual in your head. It’s a wall, it’s like the white box with the little orange corner, well it’s the orange
corner if you’re getting the Cafe Classics, and
it’s the green corner if you’re buying the Spa Favorites. There’s a Lean Cuisine
to fit every lifestyle, am I right, people? It’s a pretty fantastic product
when you think about it. I’m getting 25 thousand for this setup, so if you could just bear with me. Alright, so I’m just looking at ’em. Oh, thai noodles with peanut sauce, okay. Pasta primavera, meh. And as I’m looking at all
of them, Toto’s Africa started playing on the ambient music. I don’t know if it was the
combination of 11:00 a.m. on a Tuesday, Lean
Cuisines, Toto’s Africa. I have never felt more
peacefully, effortlessly, joyously suicidal, and it wasn’t even despair
or, if I had a gun right here, I would have just brought
it up, one smooth movement, just like oh, they have
French-crust pizza, du-du-du-du (gun cocks) (blood splatters) (audience laughing) (makes slow-mo effect) Like if someone had been
at the end of the aisle and seen it, and the cops
are like, what happened here? It’s like, he was looking
at these Lean Cuisines and then Toto’s Africa,
and the cop’s like, oh yeah, he killed himself, he’s fine. Yeah, he committed suicide. We know, he’s good, yeah. Oh, he died happy just throw
him on the loading dock, he’s okay. What check for a note? No, this is the note. All this, the frozen food and the yeah. He’s fine, trust me. Then something even sadder happened. I saw a Lean Cuisine I wanted. (angelic choral music) You should never stand in front
of a wall of Lean Cuisines and have this thought, Oh! That’s not good, but there it was. Mezzaluna Mushroom Ravioli, I want it. Take if off the shelf, I’m looking at the heating
instructions on the back. Move tray from carton. Cut a slit in the plastic to vent. Place it in the microwave
for two and a half minutes. Remove, peel back the plastic, spoon the sauce over the ravioli to coat. Replace the plastic, put
it back in for two and a, when I saw put it back in, I was like no. (groaning and shouting) What am I, Emeril? I just wanna eat. (groaning) (audience laughing) Then I spent what must have
been six minutes of my life looking at the backs
of other Lean Cuisines until I found one,
Glazed Chicken over Rice, which I did not want,
but the instructions were remove tray from box, don’t even cut a slit, this is 2013. Put in the microwave for five minutes. That’s it, there’s my dinner. That’s what I’m having for
dinner is lack of effort. That is what I’m going to
eat, a big steaming plate of lack of effort. (audience applauding) So that evolutionary track is done. If we started off as a species (tribal drums music) hunting food, trapping it,
killing it, rendering it, cooking and eating it. And that track led to me
taking a tray out of a box, putting it in a bigger box,
hitting a single number, and then going ♫ I’m gonna have glazed chicken and rice ♫ It’s gonna come out and taste so so nice ♫ I’m gonna put it on a plate ♫ Maybe eat it twice when I have my Ding, yay, okay we’re done. We are done, that’s right. Welcome to the finish line, humanity. (eerie music over factory puffing) (eerie theremin music)

100 Replies to “Comedy Central Re-Animated – Patton Oswalt – Creative Depression – Uncensored”

  1. RE-ANIMATION IS THE WORST THING TO HAPPEN TO STAND-UP COMEDY. INSULTING, CONDESCENDING, AND FUCKING STUPID FOR ALL INVOLVED. STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! FOR FUCK'S SAKE!

  2. Y'all are ripping the fuck off of game grumps animated and doing a real shitty job of it as well. Poor form comedy central ya idealess fucks

  3. Uhhh…

    The animations pretty damn good?

    …No idea why so many comments kinda come to the same idea, I especially liked how these animations would interact with the dude, putting money in his pocket and it still being in there for the rest of the scene, and bloodsplatter after the gunshot to the head.

    So… no idea why you want to see this guys unenergetic physical presence anyway, he's more of a (nm, just, started shouting weirdly, mixed bag) kinda guy so, no funny faces or exaggerated movements to be seen… I'm genuinely confused.

    If you think it distracts from the comedy then, go see it raw somewhere else? Nobody's forcing you to watch it like this, or to comment that it's bad…
    Eh, I'm just gonna enjoy this, and forget about my confusion of peoples dislike of effort being put into these videos after the fact.

  4. Don’t like the animation close your eyes and I’m 8 so you 30 year olds while your whining about the animation I’ll be enjoying the animation

  5. STOP COMPLAINING ABOUT THE DAMN ANIMATION,IF YOU DIDN’T WANT TO SEE THE ANIMATION THEN DONT WATCH THE VIDEO INSTEAD OF COMPLAINING ABOUT IT!

  6. Patton Oswald is on a new level , he is in the category of one of the greatest, he is the definition of tragedy/comedy 😁☹️ , a true artist a true professional. You shared your loss with the world , and gave us happiness from that tragedy we are forever in debt to you sir .

  7. Patton is one of my favorite comedians. I love how he is open about his depression and pokes fun at it. Most people don't approve of that. They just try to fix you.

  8. OMG Africa by Toto always makes me depressed, and not in an I can relate to this musician kind of way either 😧

  9. Its not even depression when you hit that serene suicidal mode, its more like, "yeah, life is pretty meh, I could go for a bullet right about now. ah well."
    something about calming music, as if it backfires.

  10. I seriously love that we can joke about suicide. I know it's a serious issue but I just love that when I make a joke about ending my life and the plan people don't get up and start holding me, no it's a joke… LAUGH!!!

  11. The suicide topic he chose wasn't tasteful, but his presentation was phenomenal. He totally sold the performance and made me laugh at a touchy subject. This is a sign of a good comedian taking something controversial and having enough self awareness to not go overboard just to be shocking

  12. something like that happens to me a few times.
    Recently, I was at work filing papers.
    A YouTube video playing in my earbud, a tribute to Haystacks Calhoun. a classic country song "I'm country boy. I fiddle when I can, and work when I should…" plays. I feel that about to cry feeling for noooo reason.
    I'm a black female from the hood. I'm the most opposite of the details of the song lol, but yeah sad gut feeling bam right there.

  13. Just put it in the microwave for longer so you don't have to do all that crap. No one is going to send the police after you.

  14. If there is one comedian that doesn't need the animations it is Patton Oswalt…I stopped watching and just listened along to not be annoyed.

  15. I was too busy relating to what he was saying to form a like or dislike of the animations. Splice Patton Oswalt with the 1st Matrix's Agent Smith and thats my spirit animal.

    You guys are blessed.

  16. In addition to being really really funny, I love how he identifies his depression as an entity outside of himself. Compartmentalization is a great coping skill.

  17. I just realised that everyone may have a favourite depressing song. Some "Goodnight horses" or "Love my way".

  18. I’m gonna have glazed chicken and rice
    It’s gonna come out, taste so so nice
    Gonna put it on a plate
    Maybe eat it twice
    When I have my ( ding)

    Yay!

  19. You could swap Eugene's voice in Bob's Burgers for Pat's and Tina's with Nathan Fielders and no one would tell the difference lol

  20. Those are cooking suggestions in my mind. I add up the total number of minutes and in the microwave it goes. If it needed to vent it will do it on its own at some point which adds to the excitement. If it says 3 minutes it goes in for 3:33 because I can't be bothered to find more than one number on the keypad. When it comes out it goes back in the box it came. This allows you to carry it while its hot and you can put it back in when finished saving space in your trash so less trips taking garbage out. Lazy is a science.

  21. Why would you take a probably-good stand up clip and make it unwatchable with stupid distracting pop-ups…

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