Daniel Simonsen Performs Stand-Up


FOLKS, MY NEXT GUEST TONIGHT IS
A NEW YORK-BASED STANDUP COMEDIAN WHO HAILS FROM NORWAY. PLEASE WELCOME TO “THE LATE
SHOW” DANIEL SIMONSEN! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
( BAND PLAYING )>>AH, YES, AH, HELLO. AH, HI. I’M FROM NORWAY, SO IT’S GOING TO BE A LOT OF FUN. ( LAUGHTER )
I ALWAYS ASK THEM TO MENTION I’M NORWEGIAN UP TOP OR AS PEOPLE
DOUBT I’M A REAL PERSON BECAUSE NOBODY SPEAKS ENGLISH THIS WAY. ( LAUGHTER )
I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHY I SOUND LIKE THIS MYSELF. ( LAUGHTER )
I JUST STARTED TO TALK, AND THIS IS HOW IT CAME OUT. ( LAUGHTER )
AND IMMEDIATELY I WAS, LIKE, OH, NO… ( LAUGHTER )
SOMETH… SOMETHING IS WRONG
( LAUGHTER ) BUT I JUST CAME FROM BACKSTAGE. ( LAUGHTER )
THERE WAS LOTS OF MIRRORS IN MY ROOM. WHEREVER I TURNED MY HEAD, THERE
WAS A MIRROR, YOU KNOW. SO, YOU CAN LOOK AT YOUR OWN
DOUBT. ( LAUGHTER )
I OFTEN MAKE THE AUDIENCE NERVOUS. ( LAUGHTER )
I DON’T DO IT ON PURPOSE. ( LAUGHTER )
I’M HERE TO SPREAD JOY. ( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE ) BUT THEN I OPEN MY MOUTH, AND —
( LAUGHTER ) — IT CREATES HUGE DISCOMFORT. ( LAUGHTER )
I’M LIKE THAT IN REAL LIFE, TOO. ( LAUGHTER )
I MAKE OTHERS NERVOUS BECAUSE I’M SHY. DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN RUIN A
DINNER BY NOT SAYING ANYTHING? ( LAUGHTER )
I DO THAT ON A REGULAR BASIS. ( LAUGHTER )
THERE’S A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF TIME YOU CAN BE QUIET AROUND PEOPLE
BEFORE THEY FREAK OUT. ( LAUGHTER )
I GO WAY BEYOND THAT. ( LAUGHTER )
I’M JUST THERE ON THE SIDE, LIKE A LAMP. ( LAUGHTER )
BUT I TRY TO BE PART OF THE GROUP, SO EVERY NOW AND THEN I
SAY, REALLY? ( LAUGHTER )
JUST TO SHOW THEM I’M ALIVE. ( LAUGHTER )
YOU KNOW WHO I’M ALWAYS LIKELY SCARED OF WHEN I GO TO DINNERS? CHILDREN. ( LAUGHTER )
THEY CAN REALLY EMBARRASS YOU BECAUSE, IF I’M WEIRD AND
NERVOUS SOCIALLY, THE GROWNUPS, THEY JUST LET IT SLIDE, BUT A
CHILD, HE SAYS OUT LOUD EXACTLY WHAT HE SEES. ( LAUGHTER )
SUDDENLY, WHY’S YOUR HAND SHAKING WHEN YOU REACH FOR THE
CHEESE? ( LAUGHTER )
WOW, THANKS A LOT, DUDE. ( LAUGHTER )
YOU KNOW THIS IS GOING TO BOTHER ME THE REST OF MY LIFE. ( LAUGHTER )
I’M NEVER GOING TO RECOVER FROM THIS. ( LAUGHTER )
BECAUSE I’M THE OPPOSITE GUY TO WHO I WISH I WAS. I ALWAYS WANTED TO BE AN
OUTGOING GUY WHO IS REALLY FREE SOCIALLY. I WANT TO BE THE GUY WHO IS
REALLY FUNNY AROUND THE GRILL. ( LAUGHTER )
YOU KNOW THE GUY WHO ARRIVES AT THE BARBECUE, AND THEN THE MOOD
GOES UP? ( LAUGHTER )
PEOPLE GET REALLY EXCITED. HEY, GUYS, JASON IS HERE! BUCKLE UP. ( LAUGHTER )
I FEEL THEY’RE NEVER THAT PUMPED TO SEE ME. THEY MORE LOOK WORRIED. ( LAUGHTER )
OH, NO, THE MUTE GUY. ( LAUGHTER )
I CAN’T WAIT TO HEAR WHAT HE DOESN’T HAVE TO SAY. ( LAUGHTER )
BUT I KNOW THIS IS A LOT HARDER TO BE QUIET AT THE DINNER THAN A
BARBEQUE. THE PROBLEM AT A DINNER IS
YOU’RE ALWAYS SITTING IN THE SAME SPOT, SO IT’S SO OBVIOUS
YOU’RE NOT TALKING. ( LAUGHTER )
BUT AT A BARBECUE, YOU’RE OUT IN THE OPEN, PEOPLE ARE STANDING IN
GROUPS. SO YOU CAN, LIKE, WALK OVER TO
THIS GROUP AND BE QUIET OVER THERE. ( LAUGHTER )
AND THEN JUST WHEN THEY GET SUSPICIOUS OF YOU, YOU CHANGE
LOCATION. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) AND YOU CAN RUIN THIS
CONVERSATION INSTEAD. BUT RIGHT BEFORE THEY FIND OUT
YOU’RE SHY, YOU SAY, REALLY? ( LAUGHTER )
OKAY, THAT’S IT FOR ME, GUYS. THANK YOU! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
YOU CAN SEE DANIEL AT THE COMEDY CELLAR IN NEW YORK
CITY THIS THURSDAY. DANIEL SIMONSEN, EVERYBODY!

100 Replies to “Daniel Simonsen Performs Stand-Up”

  1. He reminds me of Red Meat's Earl.  https://www.google.com/search?hl=en&authuser=0&tbm=isch&source=hp&biw=1366&bih=592&ei=I9s3Xe6iMOrf0gKX3KQg&q=red+meat+earl&oq=red+meat+earl&gs_l=img.3..0j0i24l2.1168.5797..6657…0.0..0.158.1231.12j2……0….1..gws-wiz-img…..0..35i39j0i8i30.5fxkncnbAK4&ved=0ahUKEwiuwLvc2MzjAhXqr1QKHRcuCQQQ4dUDCAU&uact=5

  2. Beginning of the show: our president is racist and xenophobic and this SUCKS

    End of the show: comedian from another country talks funny but isn't actually funny for the first 5 minutes. Let's laugh about him!

  3. Guy on the left at 1:10 in the video – wtf man? Are you secret service or some kind of operative? You couldn’t appear less amused if you tried! Yikes

  4. 1:03–1:19 DUDE on left!!!!! WTF hilarious! Daniel Simonsen was funny though. People need to open their minds to all genres of comedy. Sometimes you don’t get a comedy movie and then after watching a second time you understand the style of comedy and it’s hilarious. Please don’t be so quick to judge! Try new things! He’s funny!!!!

  5. Daniel my brother , if you're reading this then i want you to know i'm fu**ing proud to see the journey you've made!
    Remembering you killing in London and now you're on Colbert killing it on national US tv !!
    You went for it all the way… Your long lost comedy pal from London x

  6. This guy was in a UK Sitcom called 'House Of Fools' about five years ago, playing the weird housemate and seemed to disappear since, so good to see he his still about. Funny guy.

  7. Good to see Europe is sending our worst comedians over there. This dude may seem funny at first. But he's a one trick pony though

  8. Bizzare… The things that light up the studio audience when stand-ups come on… Really funny people get crickets then this guy…

  9. Wow this guy is still performing?? Thought he disappeared into oblivion after some minor performances in the UK.

  10. Uhh… I've seen and heard how Ole Gunnar Solskjær speaks… nothing like this guy! And he's probably the most famous Norwegian in the world. Oh well, one country many accents eh? Anyway, dude on the far left at 1:10 looks like he doesn't understand English, or anything that's going on!

  11. I love this guy! He reminds me of Andy Kaufman as Latka but he is completely original. When he almost laughs at his own jokes it makes me giggle

  12. He's a great comedian and if you haven't seen him in House of Fools yet, you should check it out:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nBriqKXc4Vo

  13. Norwegian Andy Kaufman!!! He's hilarious and awkward and fun! Can't wait to see where he goes!
    😂🤣😆❤️❤️

  14. Most Norwegians can speak English quite well, but we do have a few people who's famous for butchering the English language, if you want to hear Norwegians that actually sound like that without trying you have Thor Heyerdahl, Jens Stoltenberg and Petter Solberg, in Petter's case there is alot of funny interviews where he's language confused 😀

  15. Jumping from group to group is so true! I'm pretty outgoing and I still feel the need to do that sometimes. Must be all the tougher on the shyer types.

  16. This guy is hysterical. I love him. He made me laugh more than any guest comedian. i hope I see a lot more of him here in the US.

  17. “I was backstage where there was a lot of mirrors. You can turn one way and look at your own doubt.” OMG!!!! LOL!!!!!

  18. What the hell's going on with the guy at 1:10? Looks like he is watching a live video of somebody banging his wife.

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