Der Test – Satire über Einbürgerungstests


All questions asked in this film are authentic questions out of
the naturalization tests of the states of Baden-Württemberg
and Hessen. January 2007   – Note for German citizens –
Lean relaxed back and do not dare the attempt to answer
these questions. There is danger of deprivation of citizenship!   Günter Grass, I know that.   THE TEST   What meeting was held at Paul’s
church in Frankfurt in 1848?   For all of Germany…   Speak German Levent!
Speak German!   The first free elected Parliament
for all of Germany.   Good, good…   Which german medical doctor discovered
the source of cholera and tuberculosis?   – Robert Koch! Robert Koch!   Vay!… Look who’s here Mustafa Abi.
– Hello! Hello!   Are you here to take the
naturalization test too?   Yes, that’s why I am here   Have you been learning for it?   How should I have done that.   I was able to learn with the children,
they helped a lot.   Children, dinner is ready!   We have to learn for the naturalization test.   No Dad, not that test again.   It is not my turn yet.   There was a long question about
democracy. Did you solve that?   What question is he talking about?
– Yes, I know which one. – Read it.   What do you think about
the following statements?   First statement:   „Democracy is the worst form of government,
that we have, but the best there is.”   Second statement:   „Mankind has never seen times
as dark as under democracy.   Man has to acknowledge, that there is no good
in democracy in order to free himself of democracy.”   What do you answer?
– I don’t know.   I know.   The first statement is a badly translated
quote of Winston Churchil..   The second quote is from the
“Caliph of Cologne” Metin Kaplan.   How should we answer that question?   You can answer with another quote.   Democratization of society leads to anarchy,
the end of true democracy.   When democratization has progressed far enough,
it ends in communist dictatorship.   Who said that?   The former secretary of defense and minister
of finance, and former prime minister of Bavaria.   Franz-Josef Strauss.   Oh yes…   Well.…   Not important, let’s leave it   There were questions about the childrens
clothing. How should we answer?   Don’t mention it. Our daughter got angry
about that question?   Dad, do you object to me dressing
like other german girls.   Of course not.   Here is a question suggesting the opposite.   It is not true.That is rubbish.   Well, if you ask me, you can object.   Why should I?   Because I don’t want to dress like other girls.   I want to dress prettier.   What is she talking about?   I have to go.
– Don’t be nervous.   Good luck.   He doesn’t know anything.
– Let’s continue.   What happened on July 20th 1944?   What is the correct answer?   The attempted assasination of Hitler.   The attempted assasination of Hitler.   The attempted assasination of Hitler.   The attempted assasination of Hitler.   My turn. I have to go.
– Don’t be nervous. Good luck.   What if they ask me why I want to become
a german citizen? What should I say?   I don’t know. – Can I tell them, that it
will be easier for me to find a job.   No. No. Never!
Say somethingelse. Anything.   What shall I say?
-Go, go, I have to leave for work.   Good day.   Good day.   Naturalization test this way.   Good day.   Good day.   Have a seat.   Mister Tekin….   Mister Tekin….   You passed your german language exam.
True, Mister Tekin?   Yes. Mister …   Mister public officer.   You will have to pass the knowledge and ethics test too
in order to be granted german citizenship.   Are you ready?   Yes, of course.   How large is the population of Germany?   Germany’s has…   82 million…   4 hundred   11 tausend population.   Name three german mountain ranges!   Rothaargebirge, Fichtelgebirge
and Langenberge.   The german painter Caspar David Friedrich…   Shit.   … portrayed in one of his most famous paintings
a landscape on the island of Ruegen.   Which motive shows this picture?   Remember, you were looking for a painting
by some artist. What was the mans name?   You mean, David Friedrich Caspar?   Yeah! That’s the one. Did you find it?   No Dad, I didn’t.   They don’t ask such questions.   Elaborate on the term multiple party principle   and explain why elections in the German
Democratic Republic are not in accordance
with our democratic election principles.   Of course, Mister public officer.   I can tell you that.   In the German Democratic Republic   there were not that many parties as here..   For example, here we vote for CDU/CSU,   if we are not satisfied, we vote for SPD.   if we are also not satisfied,   we vote for…   then…   both.   No, no. Mister public officer.
It does’t work that way.   You have to inhale first.   What happend on June 17th 1953 in the
German Democratic Republic?   Where exactly in the German
Democratic Republic?   Do you know the answer or don’t you?   Mister public officer.   Ask me about Germany!
About Germany!   What is the german national anthem called and
what are the lyrics?   The german national anthem is called
„The song of the Germans”.   It goes like this. „Germany, Germany above all…   above all of the world.”   Keep it down Mister Tekin.
Keep it down.   Name three german philosophers!   Yes of course.   Karl Marx,   Friedrich Schiller…   Karl Marx, Friedrich Schiller…   and   Edmund Stoiber.
(Minister-President of the State of Bavaria)
  Next question.   Would it be a problem to you to accept women
as authority in certain professions?   No. No. Not at all.   I will do every kind of work.   I prefer…   womens authority.   What do you mean? Why?   No. No. joking. Man or woman…
it doesn’t matter.   You gain knowledge of people in your neighborhood
or of friends or acquaintances of yours,   that have engaged in or plan
to take part in a terrorist attack.   What do you do?   I will run to the police…   and tell them everything, but everything
Mister public officer.   Bring the anti-terror file of Levent Tekin.   Come in.   Mister Freiherr Stoeger-Steiner von Steinstaetten.   The files of all persons not born in Germany
have been infected.   The files can’t be opened.   Ok. You can leave.   Mister Tekin, name three reasons
why you want to become a german citizen!   First:   Germany is a very very beautiful country.   Second:   Germans are very hospitable and …   Excuse me I am looking for my passport.
I must have left it here?   Can’t you see that we are busy here!
Get out!   Piss off! Camel!
You sitting camel!   What did he say?   He wishes you..   … a nice day.   O.k. Continue. Third?   Please? What third?   Well the third reason why you want
to become a german citizen?   Trains are always on time.   Well Mister Tekin.
We will contact you soon.   Mister public officer. One has to have some knowledge,
if one would like to become a citizen.   Good bye.   Good bye.   GERMANY. A SUMMER FAIRY TALE.
(A documentary of the German national team’s
on World Cup 2006 )
 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *