Exams and Hindi Medium – Standup Comedy by Bhanu Chugh – LIMEWIT Live


Main jab hindi medium me padhta tha Naya naya gaya tha English medium se hindi medium me Jaise hi pahuncha to Exam ka time chal raha tha Main Exam de raha tha Abhi meri ek copy ke 2-3 pages… …finish hue the Padosi bola B-Copy Sir Dukh lagta hai Yes or No Kyunki aap puri mehnat se padh ke gaye ho Padosi ek din bhi Coaching nahi gaya aapke saath Abhi maine ek do page likhe the Padosi bola B-Copy sir Mere tote ud gaye Maine usse kaha “Bhai kya likh raha hai” Thodi der baad phir bola “Sir C-Copy” Main sulag gaya Maine kaha”Bhai likh kya raha hai” Keh raha “Koi dikkat wali baat nahi hai bhai” “Do line upar ki sahi likh… …Do line niche ki sahi likh” Dialogue hi unka aisa hota hai Keh raha “Do line upar ki sahi likh… …Do line niche ki sahi likh” Maine kaha Bich me? Keh raha “pel de” Maine kaha “sala pelu kya bich me” Phir bhi maine kaha”kya pelna hota hai” Keh raha “kuch bhi pel de” maine kaha kya pelna hota hai? Agle din, next day mera history ka exam tha Maine same wahi copy kia Maine do line upar ki sahi likhi Maine do line niche ki sahi likhi Ab bich me mera dimag hi kaam na kare Maine kaha bhai Maine wahi padosi se pucha Bhai kya likhna hai Keh raha “pel de” Maine kaha “Bhai pelna kya hai” Keh raha kal koi picture dekhi? Maine kaha “Haan dekhi” Keh raha “pel de” Maine ek din pehle movie dekhi thi “GADAR” Puri pel di “Bhag sakeena bhag sakeena bhag” Badi sakeena bhagayee Arre kya kare hum lig bade sensitive log hote hain Hindi medium wale Bohot maasum Bohot Sabji bechne wala jo hindi medium wala hoga Alag se pata lag jaega Mere sath haadse bade saare hote hain Main ek baar sabji wale ke paas gaya Maine kaha”Bhai Lauki kaise di”? Bola”Tu kaise lega?” Toh keh raha Pura sun lo Keh raha “Paytm se, cash se, card se kaise?” Jaha tum soch rahe ho wahan nahi Aapne sanskrit padhi hogi Usme ek line aati hai ‘Phat-ti’, ‘Phat-at’, ‘Phat-anti’ Toh teen wargon pe kaam karti hai Humare yaha phatne ki prakriya Pehli warg ki jo hoti h “Main gaon se aaya jaise hi Noida pahuncha” Mereko waha Noida ka mahaul dekh ke ‘Phat gayi’ Bhagte log Ab mereko kisi ne bataya “DLF mall chale jao” Yaha dusri prakriya Jaise hi maine itna bada mall dekha ‘Phat ke char ho gayi’ Abhi do aur categories rehti hain Ek jaante hoga Ek shayad aap miss kar rahe hoge Main gaya Cinema hall movie dekhne ‘PVR’ me Humare waha ticket hoti h 60 rupaye, 70 rupaye, balcony ke 100 rupaye Maine usse pucha ki bhai ticket kitne ki? Keh raha “220 ki” Yaha bolte hain “phat ke farrukhabad pahuchna” Situation aisi hoti hai na Maine use 300 Rupaye diye Ticket leni thi 300 Rupaye diye Usne mujhe 80 Rupaye khulle nahi diye Sath me 2 chocolate de diye Yaha condition kaam karti hai ‘Phat ke hath me aana’ Matlab usne apne 20 Rupaye ke chakkar me mere 80 Rupaye tod diye Yeh situation, yaha ke log ki alag hi soch hoti hai ji. Kahi bhi aap chale jao, kaise bhi chale jao Even yeh jo concept kaam karta hai sab log hindi medium, english medium sab jagah yeh concept kaam karta hai Toh situation yeh chal rahi thi Exam ka time chal raha tha Mujhe bheja gaya Bole “Jaao aap hindi medium school me.. … checking kar ke aao” Achha checking bhi badi shandaar hoti hai Mujhe bheja gaya “Jao us ladke pe… …sayad nakal ho sakti hai” Maine uske frisking karna shuru kar diya Achha hindi medium wala hai Use pata hai Checking wale se bhi maze lene hain Main uski checking kar raha hu bade maje se Jaise hi maine haath yaha tak kara Keh raha “maza aa gaya ek baar phir kariyo” Mera dimag ghoom gaya waha pe Ki iski checking karu ki ise maze du main Achha show off kaun karta hai Ladke karte hain ya ladkiyan? Kaun sa bhai hai? Mere saamne ki baat hai Maine dekha ek ladki jaa rahi thi Chalte chalte uska pair fisal gaya Gir gayi Uthi Thode dur tak chali Jaise hi sadak paar kari waha uska dard shuru hua “Haye daiya, haye daiya” Daiya Daiya yahan yaad aati hai Teachers bhi jo hote hain hindi medium ke wo alag hote hain Wo bahut kam , ladkiyon ko bohot kam maarte hain Ladkon ko bohot pelte hain. Kabhi bhi aap dekh lo Ladko aur ladkiyo ke maar padne ka tarika kya hota hai Teacher ne danda maara ladke ko “Khadak” Master ne bola “dusra haath kariyo” Usne dusra hath nahi kara bola “isi pe maaro, ek hi pe maaro jitna maar sakte ho” Ab yehi action ladki ke sath Ladki ko ek danda pad raha hai Wo bhi bohot rare case me pain hui hogi use Danda jaise hi ladki ke haath me gaya Master phael gaya bola “yeh kya ho gaya yeh kaise”? “Itna to maine maara bhi nahi tha”. Main ek baar hindi medium ke toilet me pahucha Jaise hi toilet me jaata hu Pata nahi kaha kaha se vichar likhte he wo log kaun kaun se author hote hain wo log? Pata nahi kahan kahan se soch unki aati hai? Main jaise hi toilet me gaya Saamne sirf ek chota sa word likha hua tha Pura kariyo.

100 Replies to “Exams and Hindi Medium – Standup Comedy by Bhanu Chugh – LIMEWIT Live”

  1. Catch Bhanu Chugh LIVE along with other Viral Standup Comedians & Poets at a LIMEWIT Live Event Near You.

    REGISTER at : www.limewit.com/live

  2. Standup Comedy toh achhi thi, bas thodi saans le liya kar bhai. Bole jaa raha hai bole jaa raha hasne ka toh mauka de. Par timing bhi sahi hai, kal mere khud ka exam hai.

  3. Pel diya bhai tune…. Audience dead hai sali itne achhe punches pr nahi has rahi..pr kya lajwab standup comedy thi bhai. deserves 1 million. 👍👍👍👍

  4. Do line upr ki or do line niche ki shi likho.😂😂

    Aao kabhi indore holkar science college me pta chal jayega upr se niche tak😂😂

  5. Suberb Bhanu Sir! Keep it up. It’s really amazing to see you here. By the way, he is an English Trainer.

  6. Sale chutiye
    Kv mil fir btaunga hindi wale kaise hote h…….
    Kyuki hindi wale kv marte v nhi h
    We to sidhe pelte hai

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