Family & Planning | Ashudh Gujarati | Stand Up Comedy by Manan Desai

but i would like to tell you about my family in detail my mom is partially blind She cannot see me Happy a lot of Injustice has happened in my life I have a pet dog my Wife has two pet dogs One is loyal and the other one wants to stay loyal One sleeps on the bed and the other one on the floor. Figure out which one See i have to do these Husband Wife Jokes… a few Wife Bashing Jokes because… …this is a Gujarati Show. and we are habitual in this case. *Reality Check Silence* and at the same point of time, my mother and my wife… they both ask me the same question But the context is different whenever i am stepping out of the house my mother asks me every single time Dear Manan! Where are you off to? Where are you going? Huh Dear? my wife asks me the same question During Doggy Style Manan where are you headed to? Where are you going? The tricky part is that the following question is also the same Manan, when are you coming huh? if you observe a bit then on an average, in a gujarati household, you have to provide results within 3 years of your marriage. because after that, the whole district asks you questions and they doubt your credibility i have been married for 6 years now and as soon as i was 3 years into my marriage everyone came to us immediately What happened son? Is the Stick Broken? Lemme check Easy now Here lies the problem there’s a Wart on your Wand so i had to prove my manhood i had to prove… …Manhood. So i had to give a sperm test. me and my wife, we have been planning for sometimes. and it was not happening. because modern couples, stressful life and all of that so our gynecologist suggested us to go and get my sperm count checked and i was like my system is fine Stickiness, Opacity…Everything is perfect Are you getting me? I am not gonna get any test i took it on my Ego and she was like no you have to take a test and so i agreed then i went for a sperm test now before going there, i had prepared myself i will google everything so that i will know what to do so googled it and googled told me “its easy bro” “You just have to go to Pathology Lab, Give your Sperm to Receptionist” “and immediately the receptionist will tell you” “Your Sperm is Best Sir” Dravidian but i went to a Lab in Baroda so i was at te couter and i was telling her that “excuse me…” “i have a prescription for Sperm Test” So she didn’t look up. She’s ignoring me She’s not even looking at me this went on for half a minute then i asked her again, “Madam” Prescription Sperm Test Please!! so then she pointed towards the corner in anger “Go there” i looked there and i saw a compounder standing so i want to him and he was like “come…” Compounder: “what do you want to be done?” Manan: “Actually i wanted to take a sperm test” Compounder: “Oh! Okay. When did you do it last time?” Manan: “today morning!!” Manan: ” i saw Ramdev’s Picture on India Today and i got…” don’t judge me okay guys! Everyone has a fetish. Don’t Judge me. So he became angry. He said “No Sir” “You need to come after 5 days.” Literally come after 5 days. And that too he said in english. “No Sir. You need to come after 5 days” So Apparently, if you have to give sperm for test. Your sperm needs to be fertile enough and you should not ejaculate for five days so he said “come after 5 days sir” so i went after 2 weeks. Had a nightfall at 4th night. Don’t Judge me. Okay! Don’t Judge me. then i went then after 2 weeks he gave me a container which was this much big “Sir please fill it up in this” and i was like “How would i fill so much?” I ain’t no Incredible Hulk. How would i Ejaculate that much? He said “No Sir. Fill it up as much you can.” I was like Ok. Then He asked me one more tough question. “Sir would you do it here or at home?” I said “I am not comfortable here and my collection is at home” “so i will have to go home” so he gave me one more instruction “sir you will have to come back in half an hour” and i said “My home is far away and just in Half an hour. What type of challenge is this?” so he said “no sir, if the sperm is not submitted within half hour, then it will get vaporized” “Its not petrol that it will get Vaporized” but then finally i gave my sperm test the sperm count turned out to be good and my wife delivered a baby girl last year no i mean the DNA test is still pending i am such an Assh$le Audience member: “It can’t be” Manan: “It can be” but now a little kid roams around in my house with too much excitement she hasn’t learned to speak at the moment. Dada…booboo….baabaa She speaks like that only and strange people visit my house they come to my house, and then they try to communicate with that little baby which is awkward to me clearly she cannot communicate still everyone is like “Hey! Whats your name baby? What is your name? Do you Expect the baby to go… JOHN CENA Do you expect the baby to do that? then some people always compare “hey, her nose is like her mother” “her ears are like her father” “her face is like the neighbour” and all that rubbish but recently i was waiting for that moment my daughter saw me in the eye and it was a very nice cute little moment she was looking right into my eye and i was looking at her. And she said DADDY and i was like Awww… my mother came in that moment too and she was like “she said DAADI (Grandma)” “she said DAADI” please go mom

85 Replies to “Family & Planning | Ashudh Gujarati | Stand Up Comedy by Manan Desai”

  1. ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚ Hilarious… Amazing sense of humor…

  2. best ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

  3. Getting funnier and funnier day by day ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ

  4. 2:27 epic moment ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

  5. Now this is it.
    Though compition to EIC
    hats off to Manan ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘

  6. เชกเชพเชจเชกเซ€เชฏเซ เชกเซเชฒ เช›เซ‡..เชฆเซ‡เช–เชพเชก เชคเซ‹ ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ hilarious ๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

  7. เชธเซเชฐเชคเชฎเชพเช‚ เชนเชตเซ‡ เช•เซเชฏเชพเชฐเซ‡ เช†เชตเชตเชพเชจเชพ?(เชธเซเชŸเซ‡เชจเซเชก เช…เชช เชฎเชพเชŸเซ‡ เชนเซ‹)

  8. u r just incredible buddy
    seriously proud of you bro i have seen almost every video of yours after first watching katko and i have never felt disappointment

    so thank you for making all of us laugh out very loud every time …. love you bro ๐Ÿ˜˜

  9. you guyz are doing and incredible job at 'The Comedy Factory' bringing up the level of gujarati entertainment,
    you are creating a foundation to exciting future with huge potential.

    Love your dedication and hard work guyz.

  10. Best best best best video ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿ˜

  11. เช…เชคเซเชฏเชพเชฐ เชธเซเชงเซ€ เชจเซเช‚ เชธเซŒเชฅเซ€ เชœเซ‹เชฐเชฆเชพเชฐ stendaup เชฎเชจเชจ เชญเชพเชˆ … ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘Œ

  12. เชฆเชพเช‚เชกเชฟเชฏเซเช‚ เชกเซ‚เชฒ เช›เซ‡ เชคเชพเชฐเซเช‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

  13. r awesome .. taking joke on your own. Hates off. Bija ni toh badha udave potani per leva kadju joi bhai. Jabbbarzast.

  14. เชคเชฎเซ‡ เช•เซเชฏเชพเช‚ เช†เชตเซ€ เชฐเชนเซเชฏเชพ เช›เซ‹

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