First Stand-up comedy. Where are you from mate!?


yeah This is my second time doing comedy I’ve learnt that there are 2 types of reactions I get to the statement “I am from Syria” First one is the sympathetic one And, I don’t know why I start copying the other person’s reaction “Oh where are you from?” “I;m from Syria” and they go like “oh, I’m sorry” And I instantly go “yeah…” And then they go “but but are you okay?”
and I go “yeah” and then i find myself in this weird mutual up-lift moment like “but at least you’re here!!!”
“Yeah” “and you have a job?”
“Yeah!”
“That’s perfect”
“I know!” I’m like what’s happening right now!? Are you from Syria? and the second, by far my favorite reaction, usually comes from white people “Hello there mate”
“Where are you from mate?” Every white person that I know is somehow fat and they talk the same I’m like “I’m from Syria”
and they go “but…From Syria!?..” “How did you get here!?” Did you just say “how i got here?”
“well I flew here. how did you get here?” I f**king swam here
you go to Saudi Arabia. it’s very easy about 13 days trip… on a camel From Saudi Arabia, you gotta take a boat. for about 2 months with a lion. and after that you gotta have to continue swimming for a couple of days But you know, you get a sun tan. it’s good times… whatever I don’t know if you can tell but i’m actually really f**king nervous and it is really hard. one of my things when I get nervous, I don’t know how to say f**king goodbyes. I don’t know how to end conversations Like the amount of times I said to my CEO
“Alright have a good sskdhdkdo” as a person who English is not a first language I always wanna say goodnight but my brain goes
“no no say lovely evening” I’m like “have goolovelssdsd” so the whole today I was only practicing
“Alright guys that’s my time, have a goodnight” but I’ll probably f**k that one up too… so we’ll see… what else.. my gf says i’m not romantic She says I’m arab and not romantic or whatever I think I’m romantic. I mean I take her out on dates, buy her food. I think it’s romantic, when you love someone, you buy them food so they can…. stay alive I thought to make a good gesture.
I’ll just change your name in my phone that’s a romantic thing people do so I called her “the chicken to my shawarma” I think that’s very romantic because shawarma is bloody good but without chicken it ain’t shit and that’s my time guy…. zubss sljhd hskhsd

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