-You come Massachusetts.
Peabody, Massachusetts. -Yes. -You were a substitute teacher
for a while? -Yes.
-Was that a good gig? Did that fit well for somebody
who likes stand-up? -It was — It was perfect. I would tell the kids, because
they can get a little rowdy. I said, “Listen,
if you behave for 35 minutes, I will do a stand-up routine
to close out the class.” [ Laughter ] And they would behave, because I
had built up a reputation as putting on a good show
at the end of class. And it was great training
for being a comedian because their heckles
were sharp. -Yes.
[ Laughter ] I think the most intimidating
group of people to perform for would be high schoolers.
-Yes, yes. -Even today.
-Yes. A lot of it was
based on clothing. A lot of, “Nice pants” and
“Tight pants” and these things. But, yeah, they were brutal.
Yes. [ Laughter ] -And then you —
You’re obviously very tall. You played basketball
growing up. -Yes. -But you had a football
scholarship to college. -Yes. -And did you realize
pretty early on that you didn’t enjoy it? -I knew when the man was
in my home recruiting me that I was not cut out for this. I remember he said,
“You are 17 years old. You have an NFL body.” And I remember thinking to
myself, “I wish I could tell you that no more than 10 feet
from where we’re sitting, I also have a blanky.” [ Laughter ] I still have it. I acknowledge — -That lasted longer
than your NFL body. [ Laughter ] The blanky outlasted —
-Yes. This is a great show. From the monologue
right up until now. This is really a great episode. [ Laughter ] I’ve really enjoyed it. -I’m glad. We’re glad to keep
you here this whole time. -Pythagoras.
-Pythagoras crushed. -Oh, my word.
-Do you know — true story — Pythagoras and you have been
in a movie together? -Yes.
-Yeah. -Yes, we’re in “Joker” together.
-Both of you are in “Joker.” Yeah.
-Yes. And I hadn’t worked with him
since 10th grade. [ Laughter ] -Said, Pythagoras right?
[ Laughter ] You’re now on the road,
already doing a new act. Is it exciting? And I should say,
just as a service to anybody who is interested in comedy
or writing in general, I find your Twitter feed
to be very inspirational. -Oh, my gosh. -Because every day
you have a different tip for people
who are writing comedy. And I think you’re very honest
about how hard it is. Has that been cathartic for you to share your tips
for writing stand-up? -Well, I know you’re
a very humble person. And you are very grateful
for your position. And I feel the same way, that
there’s such survivor’s guilt. There are plenty of people
funnier than me who haven’t gotten
as many opportunities. And so I can’t really
elevate them in stature or anything like that, but I can give them some help in
the things that worked for me. So that’s how I’ve given back,
yeah. -Genuinely, because there are
times where I’ll see one and I’ll think,
“Oh, wow. That’s –” You know, I’ve been doing this
a long time, too. But I think
they’re really nice — They’re simple building blocks
that make a lot of sense. And if you kind of stack a lot
of your ideas on top of each other, I think it’s a really nice
guidebook for people. -That’s so nice of you to say.
-Of course. -I’ll tell you the best response
I got to the tweets was you sent me a DM complimenting
me on that. And that’s unbelievable. I never hear from verified
Twitter people. [ Laughter ] So that was amazing. -And I don’t do it a lot, so —
[ Cheers and applause ] -Yeah.
-Well, it was genuine. That’s Gary Gulman, everybody.