How Jerry Seinfeld Pays the Check


Thank you very much No no I insist I was just getting an aspirin See what he leaves $31.26 oh That’s nice Hausa Here’s a check take I used to do all the time “So I thought maybe later we could grab. . .” You just keep talking your eyes So I thought maybe if you drove the car back Are you waiting for me to offer up some cash should I same attention how many more times are you gonna laugh at that? Okay the check is 37 dollars how much tip would you leave 10? You go to hell no wait you move the decimals it was a $40 check you would leave $8 would be 20% No it might possibly help me, I’ll help you Because everyone’s gonna ask her. Oh my god. You waited on Terrace on phone Sarah Jessica Parker how much did they tip you? What do you want her to say 20 bucks? Yeah? 10 you just move the decimal point okay wait you’re gonna leave Wow big shot big shot unbelievable disgusting garish vulgar No, it’s lovely. I’m a total shit, but for real like I know what does look real. What is real? You tell me what real is really got something. I’m really glad you’re not married By the way, it was $20 is the whole check That’s crazy That’s crazy wait two servings of eggs a croissant and a piece of pasta place is frozen in time Yeah, the eggs were three dollars three dollars. Yes. What year is this? No, no this is not me for know you can go can I tell you why no no, I don’t care What meet a wait a minute cheery guys my wallet? Oh that’s perfect please daddy, please? I Very nice dinner last night and Enjoys the dinner got the check at the end of the meal started thinking about the cheque at the end of the meal system It’s not a real good sister my thing money. If you think about it’s very different thing before and after you eat Before you eat money has absolutely no value Do you know anything you sit down at the table? You’re like the ruler of an empire more drinks more appetizers? We must have everything immediately the greatest meal of our lives Then after you eat first of all when you’re really full you can’t remember ever being hungry ever in your life The pants open napkins destroyed cigarette butt in the mashed potatoes, you know it’s really festive They give me the cheque. We were like what is this I? Don’t understand people are always mystified by the cheque aren’t you start passing it around the table does this look right to you? We’re not hungry now, why are we buying all this? Sometimes you go to these nice restaurants they put the check in a little book you ever get this What is this the story of the bill? Once upon a time somebody got the chicken just a Little gold tassel um at the Last Emperor. What’s the damage? Let’s get over here you? Know what I didn’t bring any money off the money in the car. Do you have any money? Yeah? Thank you. I apologize for the yellow you see broken. Oh, thank you. I’m I am. I thank you bought you lunch How much I want to do in show business good. It was Shelby’s okay?

100 Replies to “How Jerry Seinfeld Pays the Check”

  1. I like his question about a real tip or "celebrity tip". Unfortunately, that's true. If you don't over tip as a celebrity, you're considered cheap. However, those that are saying he should tip 100% or more are crazy. 35% is an awesome tip.

  2. What does the cost of the meal have to do with the amount of tip, and why does the more costly the meal the bigger the tip should be? Such a strange American custom, but I understand wait staff live on tips because they don't get paid enough, which only serves to encourage businesses to underpay their workers. Seems like a very flawed system.

  3. I absolutely hate SJP after watching this episode. What is REAL?!?! Real is waiting tables for $2.50 an hour plus tips and hoping you can pay the rent and buy food too. She sucks!!! Go live in your brownstone and be a millionaire and a horrible person.

  4. Wow, SJP is a cheap tipper.  I don't make tons of money, but I know to tip the servers at a restaurant more than 20% for good service.  Gee whiz…………

  5. It's a nice gesture but I think it's just overkill. Ofcourse you'll be greatly appreciated and don't kid yourself it helps your ego to tip more. But a 20 percent tip even if you are in showbiz is perfectly fine. The tip is related to what you ate, not the size of your bank account or your celeb status.

  6. I’m from Australia and we don’t tip here and I was wondering do you have to tip in America? like is it compulsory to tip?

  7. Pshhh that thumbnail is nonsense😂 Like I’m supposed to believe that Jerry Muthafuckin Seinfeld with the holy fuck net worth he has is surprised at how much the check is

  8. Yeah also to add, one time quentin tarantino came my cafe store and he didnt tip so being greedy I asked him for a tip and he said "you want a tip dont ask people for tips because if you look over there theres 50 bucks now I want it back now" I was so scared I gave it back to him and he left so sad

  9. I should start a restaurant business ..overheads would be food , drinks, rent, ….make customers pay for my workers ….welcome to America 😁

  10. How do normal workers in America handle the tipping thing . I understand why its done, but it must make eating out quite expensive. Genuinely interested as me and my wife are heading to new york in November . We are Irish and we dont tip here as in most of Europe

  11. "I am so glad you're not my husband." Yeah my husband always wants to tip like twice what's normal so I feel you. 😂

  12. If I were in the USA I would never eat outside if you have to tip. I'm spreading spending money for the food, I don't want to waste extra money… there is crisis, I'm poor

  13. I was tipped 300 euro by leo quantin and margie robbert in 700 bill. But nut sure it was by their manager coz we were not allowed to go to table for bill. They left at the bar with their autographs for all workers.

  14. Nice to see that he’s a good tipper; I lived in Las Vegas and every time there was a celebrity, my friends in the service industry always talked about how they tipped

  15. No offence but leaving a tip bigger than the actual check just says, your food was sh*t but the service was better lol Hence tipping more than the food lol

  16. Fun fact: the waitress was a billionaire and does this job for shits ‘n giggles. She used the money to wipe her asshole.
    Pompous blowhards.

  17. Living in Nevada, tipping is just part of the landscape. I generally tip at least 25 percent, although there has been times when I dont tip at all, if the food is either terrible or if the service sucks.

  18. i tip NOTHING. you get an hourly wage like the rest of us. if you wanted to make more than minimum wage (and lets be real here, most servers pull in 3-4x minimum wage and never report it), you should have gotten a job that requires you to do more than walk back and forth.

  19. The way Sarah Jessica Parker makes the statement about her being glad they didn't end up married definitely makes it seems like they banged a few times back in the dizzay.

  20. Happy with a $20 bill…? or maybe the West has gone too far with all these taxes, tips & services… so a $20 meal sounds like a good deal?
    I live in an East Eu country – a big lunch for one, soup, main with salad + a cane of soda – totals like 5 euro…And don't start me on quality… the tomatoes actually have a taste.
    And I still wonder why the same cane of Coke costs 3 euro in Norway, yet is 0.5 here…

  21. He should do one with Steve Hytner (Bania) for shits and giggles. Of course, Steve would have to give Jerry an Armani suit 😉

  22. I never tip. Why should I subsidize the employee's wage , so the owner gets richer? They are paid to work, so am i. End of story

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  24. When I bang hookers, I usually tip them $40 on top of their hourly rate. If they let me take 2 shots on goal, I will tip them $100.

  25. friend of mine provides security for a high priced lawyer. he said the lawyer leave insane tips just to watch the look on the waitress face.

  26. I've heard he is a very insanely good tipper. On the other hand I've heard hes also an extremely insecure and vain person who will actually be insulted if you don't recognize him when hes in public.

  27. The best tip i ever got was…..never do your brothers girlfriend. I wish dad told my brother the same as well. Their married now…..he never told me not to do his wife though 🤔

  28. Tipping is archaic and unfair. It's primarily designed to subsidize restaurant and other business owners, absolving them from their obligation to pay their waiters well. It must be a source of some anxiety in places like NYC and L.A. because tipping amounts were often the subject of conversations between the Jerry and the gang on Seinfeld and Larry on Curb.

  29. 'Jerry is a good guy…whether people laugh 'at you or with you' they , still , laugh…it's an uncontrollable response to truth…people can't help but 'be themselves' for a split second…they can't resist the 'laugh' given to them by the 'comedian'…the person can be a 'clown' (Red Skelton, Caesar……….Laurel and Hardy…Abbot and Costello…Richard Pryor……) helping people laugh at them and themselves by 'being a clown' or acting out a 'truth' ringing a bell , bwong , in the 'unconscious' thus communication of on the spot change in the audience…emotional response so deep happening, once, then gone never knowing when another will come but they always do…the 'comic' sits in pain , waiting , not waiting , for the BWONG word said that makes …… explode in laughter of the person your with as 'something' in us gets 'set off', 'released' that we 'know' is true of ourselves, comic…'what's real'?…right on Jerry…i knew the moment i saw the first Episode WOW…the 'idea' is drop dead brilliant…the way Jerry does it couldn't be more 'real'…i loved Jim Carry climbing the fence who probably either pained himself doing it or just 'did it'…Letterman and Coulbert with some hair on their faces…such wonderful detail always the places they go to taking time to 'talk'…communication presented on the plane of Anthony Bourdain…Jerry's humor is universal…when he cut up belittling all Chinese off the cuff comment and ? tried getting him to say he's sorry and take it back…that was such a great 'take'…i watched some episodes, twice…the guy deserves it for sure…when i was in the college of Education some 60 years ago the teacher wanted to know where should take kids on a 'field trip'…people in class suggested taking 3rd grade kids to the zoo, the bank, the museum, the hospital, the library, local restaurant, churches, the park, newspaper….the professor wanted my opinion…i'd thought about 'field trips' for a couple months sometime before the class and i would take 3rd graders, 9 year olds, to the huge local dump to introduce them to a little fragrance of reality plus they can have fun with each other giggling and playing around doing something different and could through stones through discarded windows thus releasing pent up whatever and improving their aim…they could also see where all of our shit ends up sooner or later'…the class laughed loudly…the professor called me into the office and made me feel bad for being a clown…she said 'everyone was laughing at you not with you'…i said, 'i don't care why they were laughing….point…i was wherever they wanted to go before they were there and i just brought them to a laugh…if they are laughing 'at me' they are laughing at themselves….regardless, i'm giving them a GIFT of a chuckle…also, i think what created the hardiness of the laughing was that i didn't 'know' i was going to 'get a laugh'…i had thought deeply about where i'd take a 3rd grade class…i'd take them to the stock n trade zoo and museum but i'd also take them to the local dump and cemetery….ho hum dee dum….go Jerry

  30. I worked my way through college as a cook back in the seventies, I way over tip, I'm not rich I just know what it's like to work your ass off……

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