If Disney Cartoons Were Historically Accurate – Disney Musical Parody – With Rachel Bloom


(electronic beeping) (melodic music) (birds chirping) (yawning) (bird chirping) – Oh, birds. ♫ At sunset, I wandered
through the village ♫ Glowing in the twilight and so quiet ♫ Well it’s quiet ’cause most people ♫ Died of a plague ♫ Caused by jealous witches ♫ I wandered through
the village and I think ♫ That my life is missing something dear ♫ As I stop to rest ♫ And cough up blood I wonder (coughs) ♫ When will I find my prince (sighs) ♫ I wandered through the
village and I noticed ♫ That everyone but me has found a love ♫ There goes the blacksmith
with his daughter wife ♫ 10 years old and pregnant
with her brother’s son (man laughing) ♫ I wandered through the
village sighing deeply ♫ Seeking guidance from
the statue in the square ♫ It’s a statue of Christ ♫ Adorned with thief hands ♫ Oh when will I find my prince Oh look, everyone. It’s my friends from the forest, the Jews. Hello, Jews. You know, I never did ask you. Why do you live in the forest? (high-pitched chattering) Oh I see, to hide from
people trying to kill you. Well that’s very resourceful
my picky little friends. Tell me, have you ever had a dream that you thought wouldn’t come true? (high-pitched chattering) Oh I see. You dream is that they
won’t want to kill you. Well that’s definitely a
dream that won’t come true. Oh well goodbye, goodbye. Jews. (dramatic music) ♫ Oh if I found my prince ♫ We’d have a wedding elegant and rare ♫ We’d dine on kidney
cream and horse vagina ♫ Drink champagne and torture a bear ♫ Oh if I found my prince ♫ The castle would be filled
with love and laughter ♫ And he’d fill me with his seed ♫ Forcibly and rough ♫ I’d give birth to a son ♫ And then die right after ♫ I wandered through the
village seeking answers ♫ But love hasn’t given me a glimpse ♫ It isn’t in this shop or
in this cart of baby corpses ♫ Oh when will I find my prince When, Hand Jesus? ♫ Oh when will I find my prince (metallic chiming) Oh it’s my prince. – Hello. (girl coughs) – Oh (beep). (melodic music) (guitar riff) – Hey there, thank you
for supporting Cracked. If you’d like to subscribe,
you can do that at any time. I know that you’re a
big fan of Soren-erotica which I’ve done before
and unfortunately I’m out, but I thought maybe I could just come up with some on the fly. Parker took off his pants and the girl that was with him was like, yeah, that’s a dick, and he was like, I know. And then they were gonna have sex and he was like, but
I’m also, I’m a horse, no he’s not a horse. That’s bad. He’s a, he’s a human. He’s, but he’s like a human that can like he has like wolf-like powers, like the kid from Abandon, Abducted.

100 Replies to “If Disney Cartoons Were Historically Accurate – Disney Musical Parody – With Rachel Bloom”

  1. You forget the fact that she will be, probably rape in the middle of the song.
    Sad but true, at that period of time.

  2. It's ironic because this video is so accurate and yet so fucking hilarious that Disney would never even consider showing something like this.

  3. Guys, this is a PARODY. This was EXAGGERATED for COMEDIC purposes. It's sad that lots of people actually think this is an every day scenario. This is as historically accurate as the Disney movies themselves. It was funny but it's just filled with outdated missconceptions about medieval times.
    Although, the baby mortality was pretty high, and the jews were discriminated. But the remaining stuff is jus not true

  4. know this is a parody, but if they really want to make it more historically accurate, the Princess in question wouldn't be waiting for her "true love" Prince. Royal weddings before Prince William and Kate were arranged and were often business contracts to foreign princes or royal cousins to carry on the bloodline or bring peace between kingdoms. Royal families like in Thailand, often had wives, princesses and concubines to carry on the bloodline perpetually. Genghis Khan (Temuchin) and other Asian royal families often followed this practice. Romantic love when it came to Royal weddings was very rare.

  5. This would make a good movie actually

    Princess of the Plague
    “Can she find love in the death and despair?”

  6. Jews are so persecuted and murdered that they own the biggest banks and hold the most prominent political positions, like the President of the United States of America…

  7. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆

  8. Piss pots out the windows; piles of poo in the roads; the handsome young man dying quickly after having been breathed on; the hands chopped off in the square…. the life in Europe in the Middle Ages! Not so romantic.

  9. You all are really in the comments complaining about stuff that actually happened lol. It’s a pretty accurate description for those times .

  10. Fear, Ignorance, and Superstition caused the Plague.
    http://m.nautil.us/blog/why-medieval-cats-approved-of-the-plague

  11. The presuppositions that this current human society is somehow successful gives me giggles. actually people in the past didn't have depression and that 10 year old pregnant girl actually had boobs and could take up the responsibility of the whole house ..the modern 10 year old girl is still an infant who gets scammed on Facebook.

  12. That was Earth's way of keeping the strongest Gene alive…but now we have fuktards walking around cuz of modern medicine.

  13. Think about this all of your direct ancestors survived long enough to have kids. So if you don't you're undoing tens of thousands of years of your bloodline.

  14. hurr durr… HisToricaLlY aCurAte !

    I get this this a satire, and it really amused me, but it is still miles away from the actual life in medieval ages.
    There are loads of channels with actual historians that explain in detail the life of an ordinary person in the dark ages. Modern History TV, shadiversity, skalagrim, metatron, etc

  15. Yeah make another one showing the average life of a North American female Indian or female Muslim or anything else non-white. You will find much more brutality but yet cracked only attacks western civilizations because it matches their hypocritical narrative.

  16. Robot Chicken is not fooling me nor anyone else who actually remembers this. Not to mention this skit was more clever then their recent blatant rip off.

  17. Every little girl wants to be a princess, until they find out that meant getting married off to some 30 year old inbred dude when you're 14, and your only jobs were look pretty and pump out babies.

  18. Watching the 'Jews' scene after seeing Louis C. K.s bit about how the word Jew is the right word as well as the worst thing to call a Jewish person. ALL depends on how you emphasize the word.

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