If NASA Was Australian – David Rose – Stand Up Comedy


– Monash has a dumb ad at the moment. They’ve got an ad on Elizabeth Street. This is an ad they’re trying
to do to get people to come to Monash, to enrol at Monash. I think it’s a dumb ad. It’s a picture of an
astronaut, and it says, “They said space
exploration was impossible. “They were wrong. “Enroll at Monash.” That makes no fucking sense. (audience laughs) I don’t know if you guys are aware, but Australians did not
invent space exploration. (audience laughs) Because if we had, it would
have been very different. It would have been like
“One small step for me… “fucking huge one for you cunts.” That’s what it would have been, you know? (audience laughs) We would not have had,
“Houston we have a problem.” We would’ve just had
“Canberra, shit’s fucked!” (audience laughs) If Australians invented space exploration, we would’ve gone to Mars, we would’ve found life on Mars, we would’ve moved to Mars,
and we would’ve made the life on Mars celebrate the day we arrived. (audience laughs) Oh, I’m sorry guys, I thought
this was a comedy night, not a Liberal party rally, all right? (audience laughs) Aw. It’s a joke. I think Monash, here’s what Monash needs. We need something more
representative of my uni, something that actually
represents Monash Uni and the students there. Something that we can relate to. Here’s what I think we should do. We should have a picture
of a student like me, or like the depressed people in the back, and it should just say,
“They said you couldn’t “get into Melbourne Uni.” (audience laughs) I don’t know about you
guys, but I’d be like, “Fuck, that’s an achievable
goal right there.” (audience laughs)

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