“Indian Tech Support” | Russell Peters – Almost Famous


Anything Indian people can do I can’t do I’m always impressed whenever you do something intelligent like computers. I’m shit on a computer I’m not good… Are you good on a computer, Edward? You’re Chinese, you better be going computer you You f*cking making them all day the least you could do is be good on them. I mean Well you work with a computer for a living yeah, so yeah What do you prefer a PC or a Mac? I prefer PC. PC, right. That’s how you know you’re good on a computer. People don’t believe me when I say I’m not good on a computer. Like, “You’re an Indian.” “Supposed to be good on the computer.” An Indian guy going he’s not good on a computer is like a black guy going, “I ain’t got no rhythm.” PC. That’s that’s that’s the show-off. You know that’s a “Ya, I know how to get on a computer and avoid diseases.” I use a Mac because Mac’s are stupid people friendly. I am a stupid people. The real reason I use the Mac is because I go to a lot of questionable websites Look, what I’m trying to tell you is If you’re going to surf porn on a mac. Surfing porn on a mac is like having sex with a condom on. You know, you’re like, “I don’t care what she has.” “Hehehehehehehehe” “I’m not gonna get anything.” Surfing porn on a PC is like raw doggin a hooker, you know? “Oh my god, it feels good but I’m scared.” “I’m so scared.” “Oh my god it burns when I download.” You know the worst day in my life is the worst day in My life is when I have a problem with my laptop and I have to call the 1-800 number on the back of it I don’t care that. They’ve outsourced the call to India that actually makes me happy Part that bothers means that that guy in India knows who I am I call up. I’m like ”Yeah I have a problem my laptop.” “Okay sir. and your good name?” I’m like ”I’m sorry?” “Your good name.” My good name? What is that, my password? You want my password? “No No, sir. Your good name. Your good name.” “F*ck, the f*ck is my good name?” “Sir, your surname, your family name.” Oh, so why don’t you say so? Uh, Peters. “Okay. And your *jibberish*” What’s that? “Your *jibberish*” I… I don’t have a forest name, no. Enchanted? I suppose if I was in the forest my name would be lost. What are you asking me right now? “No no, sir. Your first name…your first name.” What the f*ck is my *jibberish* What is that? Slow it down buddy. “Okay sir, your fir… ” That’s the same f*cking thing. “Sir the name you use on a daily basis.” Oh. haha, Sorry, man. Russell. “Okay. Haaa!” “No Wayyyyyyyyyyy.” “Is it really you?” I’m all proud. I’m like, yes yes, it is. He goes: “Well well well…” “…all those jokes you made, huh?” “Now who needs help, huh?” “Okay, bastard. Here’s what we’re going to do.” “I am going to mirror your computer.” You’re going to what? “Mirror your computer.” You’re going to mirror my computer? What does that mean? I’m going to gain full access to your laptop… remotely.” Oh really, and how do you think that and then I just see the mouse moving around on my screen? I’m like what the hell happened. He goes. I have gained full access to your laptop “Let’s quickly go through your history.” You know what let’s not go through my history, how about that? “Well well well… Lusty Grandmas.” It was a pop-up. “I’m sure it popped up just fine, huh?” “‘Seems to pop up 3-4 times a day!”

100 Replies to ““Indian Tech Support” | Russell Peters – Almost Famous”

  1. I JUST FOUND OUT ABOUT YOU!! I don't know how I've never heard of you before. And I just searched you and found out you are the third highest paid comedian in the world in 2016!!??? Is that right? That's incredible! Congrats!!!! You ARE very talented and incredibly funny. Your delivery is great! Nice to finally (meet) you! Come to Los Angeles!

  2. The problem is when the Indian hacker call you and tell you to turn on your pc.

    I hold and wasted time of a Indian girl hacker.

    I went to my car and described many problems with my computer ( 🚘 computer) until she realized that I was messing with her.

    Other time I start pushing bottom on my microwave oven and after long time a said:

    OOPS!!
    I thought this was my pc.
    Since them the fake
    Technical support
    Stopped to bug me.

    Remember

    “ Don’t get mad
    Get even”

  3. I remember getting an interview call and the dude was Indian.I was like fuck off you scamming piece of shit. The dude was a real recruiter lmao

  4. I used pop up excuses to fool my friend before as well but yep… He already noticed how the pop ups come everyday like, who the hell will believe you if you say “An [Porn star name] ad popped up out of nowhere and it’s been like this everyday”… In the end of it all, he just got used to me making excuses and he just laughs it off like he saw nothing hahaha

  5. Computers are from the USA first..thats why you have problems you didnt know that once you realize then your computer will serve you well.

  6. There is no way that guy in India said "well,well,well", I can guarantee he said "vell, vell. vell". There is nothing more confusing to an Indian than the letter "W"….. 🙂

  7. This guy is the king of comedy. Especially when he makes fun for f my father’s language the Arabic language. I really enjoy him

  8. Believe I worked for a tech process and Americans are so funny ..they are super dumb .and don't wanna use their brain ..this is my experience…I am an Indian but I have put on North American acccent

  9. Peter from India..nicest guy in the world….worked at the Santa Rosa Valero gas station until he won the lottery a few weeks ago….last I heard he has a nineteen year old American girlfriend….true story

  10. On a conference call, a co-worker kept asking about "daily variables" … after numerous times asking about "daily variables" with no answer, she made a note on her screen (that she was sharing) … "deliverables" … the modules in the program we were talking about.

  11. த்தா உன் டைமிங்க அடிச்சக்கவே முடியாது பீட்டர்சிங் மாமு….நீ கலக்குயா…!!!

  12. I love him . I just had a customer from India he was so funny and cool guy. But still I love Indian accent it's funny and cool .

  13. I saw an Indian man in a Subway once with full Indian head dress and he was on the phone with tech support and I can hear the tech guy speaking perfect American but the Indian guy couldn't understand him. I laughed and thought karma bitch. Lol

  14. you should review this before posting it to your family and friends…it is not about the indian guy helping with computer issues…ot is about watching porn on a macintosh.

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