Key & Peele – Pizza Order


– HELLO? THANKS FOR CALLING
MARIO’S PIZZA. THIS IS CARLOS SPEAKING. – HELLO. WE WOULD LIKE A LARGE PIE WITH PEPPERONI, PINEAPPLE,
AND CHEESY CRUST. – LARGE PEPPERONI
WITH PINEAPPLE AND CHEESY CRUST. – WE WOULD ALSO LIKE
A LARGE PIE WITH BACON, PINEAPPLE, AND…CHEESY CRUST. – LARGE BACON, PINEAPPLE,
WITH CHEESY CRUST. OKAY. IS THAT GONNA COMPLETE
YOUR ORDER, SIR? – YOU KNOW WHAT?
LET ME GAUGE THE ROOM. UH, GUYS, ARE WE GONNA WANT
ANOTHER PIZZA? LET ME JUST–WHO’S HUNGRY?
SHOW OF HANDS. LET ME SEE ‘EM. ONE, TWO, THREE.
KEEP ‘EM UP. FOUR, FIVE, SIX. – AH, HAVING A PARTY.
[chuckling] – YUP.
PRETTY BIG ONE TOO. COME ON, GUYS,
KEEP ‘EM UP. HUGO, SUMMER?
HANDS? FOOD? YOU KNOW WHAT,
LET’S PLAY IT SAFE. LET’S GET ANOTHER PIE
WITH HAM, PINEAPPLE. – ALL RIGHT, HAM– OH, ARE YOU GUYS GONNA NEED
CHEESY CRUST ON THE THIRD? – GOOD QUESTION.
I’LL GAUGE THE ROOM. HEY, GUYS, DO WE WANT
CHEESY CRUST ON THE THIRD? OKAY, YEESH. THAT IS A RESOUNDING YES FOR CHEESY CRUST
ON THE THIRD. CLAIRE SAYS YOU READ HER MIND. – CLAIRE, HUH?
I LIKE THAT NAME. – IT’S A GOOD ONE. OH, ALSO, MY BOY ANDY OVER HERE
IS SAYING YOU HAVE SOMETHING
CALLED CHICKEN POPPERS. – IS SHE CUTE? – UH, WHO’S THAT AND WHAT NOW? – CLAIRE.
– OH. HER BODY’S LIKE A FOUR.
ANYWAY, WE WOULD ALSO– – WELL, H-HOW DO YOU MEAN? – HA, LET’S JUST SAY
SHE’S KIND OF A BIG GIRL. – THAT’S ALL GOOD. THAT’S ALL SUPERFICIAL, MAN.
I LIKE CLAIRE FOR WHAT’S INSIDE. – YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW CLAIRE. – YO, BUT FOR REAL THOUGH, I FEEL LIKE
I DO KNOW CLAIRE, MAN. PUT ME ON THE PHONE
WITH HER. – UH…YOU DON’T NEED
TO SPEAK TO CLAIRE. – NO, I DO. YOU KNOW WHAT,
I GOTTA LEVEL WITH YOU, MAN. I…[bleep] HER. – OH! OH, I’M SORRY. I DIDN’T MEAN TO GET
IN BETWEEN YOU GUYS. – NO, IT’S QUITE ALL RIGHT. ‘TWAS A WHILE AGO… BEFORE SHE BLIMPED UP. MY CURRENT GIRLFRIEND’S LIV. BODY, TEN.
FACE, TEN. BUT ANYWAY, CLAIRE–YEAH.
I HIT THAT SEXUALLY. AND, UH, AS DID MY BOY HUGO. HELL, EVEN BUBBA GOT
SOME OF THAT. SO JUST WANTED YOU TO KNOW,
USED GOODS, USED GOODS. – SO YOU WOULDN’T CARE
IF I ASKED HER OUT? – WELL…
LET ME DO IT FOR YOU. HEY, CLAIRE, THIS GUY
FROM THE PIZZA PLACE WANTS TO DATE YOU.
TOO POOR? ALL RIGHT,
I’LL LET HIM DOWN EASY. – WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
NO. TELL HER THAT, NO,
I’M NOT A RICH MAN. BUT I’M A GOOD MAN. TELL HER,
“CLAIRE, I BELIEVE IN DESTINY. “AND I BELIEVE
THAT WE’VE ALWAYS KNOWN “THAT OUR SOUL MATE
WAS OUT THERE. “THE MOMENT THAT WE HAD
THAT UNSPOKEN CONNECTION “ABOUT THE CHEESY CRUST… “I REALIZED THAT YOU WERE
ALWAYS THE ONE. “BECAUSE–AND I KNOW
THIS SOUNDS CORNY– “BUT THAT MOMENT… “WAS JUST LIKE… SIMPLE.” – WOW. YOU REALLY DO CARE
ABOUT CLAIRE. – I DO. – OH, MY GOD!
CLAIRE JUST GOT SHOT! – WHAT?
NO! – OH! IT JUST CAME
THROUGH THE WINDOW. IT WAS A BULLET.
IT HIT HER IN THE NECK. OH, CLAIRE’S DOWN!
SHE’S DEAD! SHE’S DEAD!
I’M CALLING THE COPS! SHE’S DEAD! – CLAIRE! NOOOO! – CHINESE IT IS.

100 Replies to “Key & Peele – Pizza Order”

  1. Subscribe to the new Key & Peele YouTube channel for all the classics as well as new-to-YouTube sketches: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCdN4aXTrHAtfgbVG9HjBmxQ?sub_confirmation=1

  2. What I got from that is that we put a lot of emotional investment in things that don't deserve it. Such as pineapple on pizza.

  3. Omg I have a friend exactly like this. When we go out to eat he orders another dinner and says he taking it home for his mother and we all know it’s for him! He’s a LIAR 🤥
    We looked thru his window and saw him eating it.

  4. I feel that the pizza guy ironically has more issues than the guy who is ordering pizza for himself and his action figures.

  5. They should remake this again but instead of the pizza guy, it’s another guy from the Chinese food restaurant 😂

  6. “Used good, used goods”

    Bruh I can tell you that Claire is in mint condition what the hell you talking about fake geek boy

  7. As a pizza delivery driver, this is 100% accurate. Some girl gets shot in a random drive by before the order gets finished 🤔

  8. The Pizza Delivery Man is gonna have to drop off a ton of food and will notice no one in his drive way lmao.

  9. So I was outside a Italian restaurant and saw a sign that said "wood fired pizza" and im just like, wood fired pizza? Hows pizza gonna get a job now?!

  10. 시밬ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ 이거 존나 웃곀ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ 이거 보는 한국인 있냨ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ 시밬ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

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