KID & DOG | Stand Up Comedy | Neeraj Sharma

I met this lady in the market. I was with my son. She looked at my kid and said. wow, what a sweet kid. I love kids. I also have a DOG! I was like…whattt? How can you compare my kid to your dog? she said. why? I am also bringing up my dog with love and care and everything.. I said, do you understand what is that major difference between a kid and a dog? She said No. I said. Let me tell you. Your dog cannot argue with you. You throw a bone to your dog. He runs and fetches it. Everyone is Happy. Here my son throws the ball… I run and fetch it. I am the one who is tired and thirsty..but I have to make him drink water first! If your dog is like your kid then.. then why do you put a leash around his neck? to take him to urinate on the road? I don’t do that and tell my son to go and piss on that car’s tyre. Dogs run after vehicles in the night. My son doesn’t run and chase after moving wheels One day I am trying to insert my headphone in my phone and its just not going in and i see some yellow thing coming out of it there are crayons filled in it can your dog do all this? I am sure he must be eating your shoes but kids don’t do this kids make you change so many nappies, so many diapers that you think .. It would’ve been better to get a dog. My son sees these toys videos on youtube and demands the same I say. ya. ok. will buy it. and I am trying to write something He comes and touches my face.. papa papa, papa…. papa papaaa I say. ya. ya. ya Papa when will you buy it? I say. tomorrow son Tomorrow when? he asks I say. tomorrow evening I promise He asks. why papa? why not today? Now look at this. how much he is like his mother. NAAG number 1 NAG number 1 I told my wife about this.. look what he is doing. and my son starts.. papa please get me this toy. just this one. I will never ever asks for anything in my life. I promise papa. I told my wife. Look how shamelessly he is lying. My wife said. It’s you DNA imprint. Lying comes naturally to him Once I took my son for a show. I thought he will sit and play video games. He was playing fine… until.. Suddenly he got up and said.. papa.. Papa I wanna go and piss. I thought how do I tackle this now when suddenly A very sweet and looking woman got up and said I will take him to the washroom I said. oh! In that case. I am also dying to pee. take me first. You go later. Can I go first? There is this small kid and his mom, we keep bumping into each other. Whenever he sees me. his mouth somehow always utters papa. he always says hello papa! His mother is very embarrassed She obviously corrects him every time. Don’t say papa. say uncle. The kid is like. hello uncle. Again he met me and the same thing is repeated. The lady is again embarrassed. So I told my wife the entire incident and goes.. Maybe because you look like a father figure Maybe? Maybe..because kids can sense their mother’s hidden desires? So I asked my wife. Baby how is this line for stand up? She said not funny at all! I said. I am definitely going to use it.

18 Replies to “KID & DOG | Stand Up Comedy | Neeraj Sharma”

  1. Very unique thought sir which is experienced by each and every parents. Nice job 🙂
    Waiting for your next video

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