Leah Bonnema Performs Stand Up


FOLKS, MY NEXT GUEST IS A
STAND-UP COMEDIAN MAKING HER NETWORK TELEVISION DEBUT. PLEASE WELCOME, LEAH BONNEMA! ( APPLAUSE )
♪ ♪ ♪>>THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! OH, THANK YOU! THANK YOU! OH! OH! THIS IS SO GREAT. I’M HAVING SUCH AN EXCITING
WEEK. I WENT TO THE GYM. I DIDN’T STAY, BUT I WALKED IN. ( LAUGHTER )
WHEN I WAS AT THE GYM, I WAS WEARING A STEELER’S JERSEY. A MAN WALKED UP TO ME, POINTED
AT MY SHIRT, AND HE GOES, “STEELERS? DID YOU KNOW THAT’S A FOOTBALL
TEAM?” IVE SO TAKEN BACK I THOUGHT I
MISSED THE QUESTION. I WAS LIKE, “I’M SORRY, DID YOU
JUST ASK ME IF I UNDERSTAND MY OWN CLOTHES?”
( LAUGHTER ) BUT THAT’S WHEN IT HIT ME. I WAS LIKE, “OH, WOMEN NEED TO
KILL MORE PEOPLE.” ( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE ) WORD WOULD SPREAD, AND PEOPLE
WOULD BE LIKE, “OH, SHOOT. DID YOU HEAR THAT CHICKS ARE
KILLING PEOPLE NOW? MAYBE WE SHOULD KEEP OUR
OPINIONS TO OURSELVES.” ( APPLAUSE )
THANK YOU. THANKS. ARE YOU GREAT. ARE YOU GREAT. WE COULD JUST PAY THEM THE SAME. IT DOESN’T SEEM WORTH IT
ANYMORE. YOU KNOW WHAT, WE LET THEM HAVE
THEIR BIRTH CONTROL. RESTRICTING WOMEN’S ACCESS TO
BIRTH CONTROL BLOWS MY MIND FOR MANY REASONS. ONE OF THE REASONS BEING WE
DON’T HAVE A HORMONAL BIRTH CONTROL EQUIVALENT FOR MEN. RIGHT. WE TRIED TO GET ONE ON THE
MARKET. IT WAS 96% EFFECTIVE, AND IT WAS
BEING GIVEN TO A CLOSED STUDY OF MEN– BECAUSE YOU JUST CAN’T
GIVE MEN BIRTH CONTROL AND BE LIKE, “GET OUT THERE.” WE HAD TO WATCH THEM. RIGHT? ( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE ) YOU KNOW. YOU KNOW, GUYS. SO WE HAD TO KEEP THEM IN A
CORAL. AND THEN MEN STARTED ABANDONING
THE STUDY BECAUSE THEY DIDN’T LIKE THE SIDE EFFECTS. I DON’T WANT MEN TO HAVE BAD
SIDE EFFECTS, BUT I DON’T WANT WOMEN TO HAVE BAD SIDE EFFECTS,
EITHER. SIEFNGS FOR WOMEN ON BIRTH
CONTROL INCLUDE HEART ATTACK, STROKE, DEATH. ( GASPS )
TOUGH DAY! SIDE EFFECTS FOR MEN ON BIRTH
CONTROL WERE MOOD SWINGS. ( LAUGHTER )
WHEN I READ THAT MY EYES BLED. ( LAUGHTER )
THIS IS A QUOTE FROM THE STUDY. ONE GUY SAID, “LOOK, I JUST
DON’T WANT TO FEEL SAD FOR NO REASON.” AND THE PHARMACEUTICAL COMPANY
WAS LIKE, “SHUT DIDIT DOWN! JAMES IS SAD!”
( APPLAUSE ) ( LAUGHTER )
I GOT AN I.U.D. IT’S BIRTH CONTROL, INTERUTERINE
DEVICE. LOOKS LIKE A LITTLE ANTENNA. IT’S ALSO A FREE WIFI HOT SPOT. ( LAUGHTER )
WHEN I GOT IT, I TOLD MY BOYFRIEND THAT IT HAD TO COUNT
TOWARDS OUR COUPLE SHARED RESPONSIBILITY. LIKE IF YOU COUNT EVERYTHING A
COUPLE DOES TOGETHER– COOKING, CLEANING– YOU YOU’VE GOT TO
THROW BIRTH CONTROL IN THERE AND THEN YOU DIVIDE IT UP EVENLY. SO I’M ON BIRTH CONTROL, AND
THEN HE DOES EVERYTHING ELSE. ( APPLAUSE )
WOMEN ARE WITH ME! I REALLY LOVE MY BOYFRIEND. I’VE BEEN WITH HIM 11 YEARS. ( APPLAUSE )
THANK YOU, THANK YOU! THANK YOU! IT’S 11 YEARS IN NEW YORK. 11 NEW YORK CITY YEARS IS LIKE
975 REGULAR HUMAN YEARS. ( LAUGHTER )
OUR BED TOUCHES THREE OUT OF THE FOUR WALLS IN OUR BEDROOM. ( LAUGHTER )
IT’S TIGHT. I THINK WE’RE A GREAT COUPLE
BECAUSE WE’RE COMPLEMENTARY DAMAGED. RIGHT, LIKE EVERYBODY’S A LITTLE
MESSED UP, SO YOU HAVE TO FIND SOMEBODY WHO IS MESSED UP IN
OPPOSITE WAYS AS YOU, AND THEN YOU HAVE NOTHING TO FIGHT ABOUT. FOR EXAMPLE, MY BOYFRIEND IS A
VERY BAD DETAIL LISTENER. I DON’T CARE. IT’S NOT A THING THAT BOTHERS
ME. BUT, LIKE, HE HAS NO IDEA WHERE
I AM RIGHT NOW. ( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE ) FOR SURE. WE DISCUSSED IT. WE WERE SO EXCITED. I WAS LIKE, “I’M DOING COLBERT.” I SAW THE WORDS GO INTO HIS
FACE. ( LAUGHTER )
BUT I GUARANTEE WHEN I GET HOME LATER, HE’S GOING TO LOOK AT ME
AND BE LIKE, “BABE, WHERE YOU BEEN?”
( LAUGHTER ) AND YOU WANT TO SAY, “WHERE DID
THE WORDS GO?” RIGHT, BUT HE’S NOT DOING IT ON
PURPOSE. THERE’S NO POINT IN MAKING HIM
FEEL BAD. SO I’M JUST GOING TO TELL HIM
AGAIN, AND WE’LL GET EXCITED TWICE. ( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE ) RIGHT? YOU GUYS, THANK YOU SO MUCH. I’M LEAH BONNEMA!>>Stephen: HER PODCAST IS
CALLED “WERE YOU RAISED BY WOLVES?” AND IS AVAILABLE ON
iTUNES. LEAH BONNEMA, EVERYBODY! WE’LL BE RIGHT BACK.

100 Replies to “Leah Bonnema Performs Stand Up”

  1. Cringey… so this is where comedy has gone on the left… she literally has to thank to audience when they clap if not force clap.

  2. Not funny. And it’s not just her chosen subject matter that seems to say that men are crap and that women should kill them. Don’t think this would go over very well in reverse. But that is not my biggest reservation. It happens that she is simply not funny which is the greatest crime of all. Hell, Ann Coulter is a total cunt but at least she’s amusing.

  3. Please stop performing. You’re not doing yourself any favors and you’re certainly not doing your audience any favors either. Stop asking for the laugh. It is so cringeworthy.

  4. cringy and mildly annoying. Media screaming about Joker turning kids into mass shooters, but a "women should kill more people" is totally ok

  5. Way better than Will Ferrell doing a bad bit as Ron Burgundy trying to do standup. That was awful. This was good.

    Although, I will say there is a danger in male birth control that makes us mood swingy. The ones you REALLY want to be on brith control are the already emotionally unstable ones with a collection of semi-auto assault weapons.

  6. This was garbage, it reminded me of a Bill Nye “clever person teaching u something that should be learned in school” special program

  7. You gotta think/create/write/rethink/recreate/rewrite jokes before doing it in public. Saying opinions out loud is not comedy. Not funny.

  8. Wow, that was just sexist and I'm not even right wing. Learn from actually good comedians, when they talk shit against other groups by generalizing, they always must include a caveat, they never end it with the generalization and say goodbye because that makes them sexist in this case.

  9. Is there any female comedian who doesnt based her routine about being a woman??? Is it to hard to not mention your genitals for 5min?

  10. A drunkard walks into a chatholic church and sits down in a confession both silently.
    The priest coughed few times to get his attention then finally knocked reply comes 'aint no use knocking there is no toilet paper here either'

  11. Would it be too much too soon to say: you're hilarious! I'm you're biggest fan! = P
    (I think the audience was slow… i'd be laughing while they were still thinking. You're great!)

  12. Ha ha ha…yeah. Joke? No. Watch her ass. Traveling female comic serial killer. I LOVE Whitney Cummings, Rita Rudner, Joan Collins, etc. But watch this confessional bitch.

  13. The woman was joking about preventing people from expressing opinions because it inconvenienced her. Yep, this is going to go well.

  14. “Performs” is pretty generous. This is a train wreck. The only reason Leah has even gotten this far is pretty well demonstrated by these comments, I think. Due to the nature of her “material”, you HAVE to like her, or else you’re a thin-skinned misogynist who is insulted by her set. There CANNOT be any other reason. That argument doesn’t hold water though, because she’s not even witty enough to be insulting.
    I think the fact that she’s even made it this far HAS TO be attributed to producers greenlighting her simply because they’re scared of SJW-style backlash, a sampling of which you can see in this comment section. If you’re a female producer you have to support her because female. If you’re a male producer you have to support her because sexism. Everything is black and white these days; there’s no middle ground anymore, no compromise. It’s all or nothing. You either like her, or you’re wrong. You’re a snowflake or an incel or a misogynist, or whatever.. but you cannot possibly JUST dislike her. No, it’s because there’s something WRONG with you.
    So they let her go on, because they essentially have to. Like, think about it; why else would you put this person on TV? Or even on stage at the local community centre? It’s clearly not because of her thigh-slapping hilarity. But it doesn’t matter if the people making these decisions think she’s funny or not. She’s found a formula. Woman + “comedy routine” critical of men = must be indulged. Nobody has ever stopped her or let her know that she’s awful, because you can’t do that nowadays. You either like her, or you’re wrong.

    “You just don’t like her because she offended you!” No, we don’t like her because she sucks. Believe me, nobody’s offended by this elementary school bullshit. It’s abysmal, and I’m surprised they aired it. In fact, I honestly kinda feel sorry for anyone who genuinely found this funny, because you must be really, rrrreally fucking stupid.

  15. Literally all of these stand-up pieces coming up here recently aren't good. Please reevaluate your standards. The main show is great, these stand-up plug-ins – not so much.

  16. Not funny really… why is it that women comedians always are talking about abortion and birth control?. It seems more like a political statement proselytizing about abortion. There are many other subjects to have fun with. Just listen to Lewis Black, or Bill Burr….completely different approach.

  17. Why do I get the feeling she came up with that steelers BS? Girl wearing a sports team jersey is the best conversation starter not ender

  18. I have a single rule for watching comedians: If you lean on sex, gender, or ethnicity as a crutch in your bit, I downvote and move on. For some reason, there's not one single female comic in my favorites list. Because they're all the bloody same.

  19. “What do you get when you mix a mentally ill loner with a society that abandons him and treats him like trash? You get what you f**king deserve.”

  20. The late great Christopher Hitchens once said, "women comedians aren't funny". I've yet to find one female stand-up even remotely funny.

  21. Liberals worship at the altar of the feckless lying clown Stephen Colbert … Colbert is a worthless bum who has never had to work for a living… Stephen Colbert is the bottom feeder of the swamp 🇺🇸

  22. You know what would be good? Free female condoms, IUDs and male condoms to whoever wants them. No more mood swings, and we all can take our adult naptimes with safety. 😀

  23. She is Birth Control she opens her mouth & men leave. If she was raised by wolves they would eat her just to shut her up. Her boy friend & her together for 11 years ? He must be dead.

  24. Interesting she's a pod-canster; most of the regular "stand-up" comedians on LSSC aren't so good, IMHO, but she was.

  25. So the premise of her opening joke is that a thoughtless question from one man is justification for all women to become man-killers? All you have to do is replay that idea in your head, but reverse the genders. See how long THAT comic's career lasts. Leah Bonnema is just another tired example of the lameness that infects current female comedy. And before I get trampled by the feminazis, let me say that some of the funniest comics EVER have been women: Lucille Ball, Phyllis Diller, Carol Burnett, Betty White, all beautiful examples of how women can actually be hilarious while saying something relevant. A big fat thumbs down on Leah and her ilk.

  26. Stand up on late night is hard, I didn't like this performance, but it can be hard for someone that is new. It was her first time. Eddie Murphy's first time wasn't that great either. Maybe she will grow into it, I know that if she continues in comedy she will probably look back at this and realize that she has grown a lot. Best of luck.

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