SHUT Up & SIT DOWN Amar: I wanna try some stuff. Right. Fans of Modi ji give me a cheer.
(Audience Hooting Loud) Fans of Rahul Gandhi Give me a Cheer.
(Audience Hooting Low) (Laughter)
One Guy To theek hai. Kisi ko Vote Nahi Mil Rahe.
To Rakhi Sawant Jeet Gyi Is Baar. Yaa! So this is my First Rakhi Sawant Joke. Okay. So Once Rakhi Sawant, Happened. ( Audience Laughing) That’s the only Rakhi Sawant Joke, I have. Because you don’t need to make jokes on Rakhi Sawant. Rakhi Sawant is F***** Joke. Right?? Like I Said, I am quite ‘VEHLA’ a lot of time. Like, Main Kafi Vehla rehta hu. To main kafi cheejon ke baare me kafi sochta hu. For Example, Naam ke baare me. Like Akash ka Matlab SKY, right. Like F**** Ambitious of Your Parents. Right.
(Both Audience & Amar Laughing) What I am saying Humare Parents Jab Humara Naam Rakhtey Hain.
Specially First Name. Wo Kafi Ambitious Hote Hain. Zyadatar jo Parents apne bachho ko pyar kartey hain. They are quite ambitious. Right. For Example, I had this guy, used to work with me in office. Okay. Raghav. There was a guy used to work with me in office. And he used to come to office Stay quiet the whole day. Okay & Leave. His name was Kranti. ( Audience Laughing out Loud) Not Kidding. His Name was Kranti. Like Kranti means **** REVOLUTION. & Kranti was the most SHY guy in the office. Like Once I happend to ask Kranti,
“Kranti Do You Have Girl Friend?” He like, “Amar Kaisi Baatien Karte ho yaar.” (Audience Laughing) And he is not even GAY. But jab humare parents humara nick name rakhte hain. Nick Name means shit. right.
Nick Names ka koi matlab nhi hota. Like I have this friend, okay. Wo 100 kilo ki hai. 100 kilo ki meri dost hai, uska naam hai GUDIYA (Audience Laughing) Wo 100 kilo ki GUDIYA banke ghoom rahi hai. Like Nick Name means SHIT, right? Nick Names don’t mean anything. I have a nick name too. My nick name is JUGANOO ( Audience Laughing )
Yaa… I am not even kidding. My nick name is JUGANOO. & JUGANOO means a FireFLY in english. JUGANOO means a FireFLY. So Ideally if it meant something. I am supposed to have TUBE LIGHT in my ass. (Audience Chuckling)
YAA Which I clearly don’t. right?
Which I don’t. That means everything that I am saying is misleading. You guys understanding MISLEADING? or Are you BJP Supporters?
( Audience Laughing & Clapping) No Seriously.
BJP Supporters ko MISLEADING samajh nhi ata. Aur Mujhe BJP Supporters nhi samajh aate. BJP supporters mere SAR ke upar se jaate hain. Bhukhe Nange Mar Jayenge, Par Mandir wanhi banayenge. (Audience Laughing) Mere to SAR ke upar se Jaatey hain. Like a lot has happened in the country last few years, in BJP Govt. ‘Koi RSS ka to nahi hai NA?’
“Marega to Nahi Mujhe” A lot has happened in the country. A lot of stuff has happened. Like Demonetisation Hua. Demonetisation Hua. Demonetisation mein pta hai aapko kitni thought lagi? Demonetisation mein bahot thought lagi. I’ll tell you. I got the minutes of the demonetisation meeting, recently. Wanha pe Modi ji baithe the, Amit Shah arun jaitley. Theek hai 3 log baithe the.
Modi ji 1000 Rs ka Note leke borr ho rhe the. (Audience Laughing) Aur Wo suddenly bole. ‘jaitley ji, BAND karo isko b** ‘
(Audience Laughing & Clapping) (Audience Laughing & Clapping) To jaitley ji bole par, ‘Modi ji, aise kasie band karde? Matlab Bharat ki JANTA ko hum kya EXPLAIN karenge? Humne kyu band kiya? ‘
Unhone bola. Dekho Kuch bhi bol dena. ‘DIGITAL INDIA’, (Laughter) ‘CASHLESS ECONOMY’ ‘Wrna Arnab ko bol denge. Wo explain kar dega.
Use rakha kyu hain humne? ‘ (Audience Clapping) To ispe Amit Shah ji bole, “Par Modi Ji Aise to Desh Me TRAAHI TRAAHI’ mach jayegi. Log MAR MARAA jayenge.” To Modi ji bole, “Amit Shah ji Aapne! Aapne … aur Humne” ( Audience Laughing) “Aapne aur Humne, logo ke marne ke bare me kab socha hai?” (Audience Laughing out Loud) Basically a lot A lot has happened. Right? Like Meri Samajh se upar jate hain BJP Supporter. BJP Supporter Mujhe Samajh nahi aate. Think about it. For example, Modi ji ke baare me hi socho. Modi ji ke baare me kafi log, kafi kuch kahte hain. He is very Polarised kind of a leader. Kuch Log bade FANS hain unke. Kuch log unke oppose mein hain. Kuch log kahte hain, Modi ji is a Kamaal ki personality. Some People think, Modi ji kya Kapde pahente hain. Kya boltey hain. He is a Kamaal ki personality. On the other side, people say he is a killer. 2002 me logo ko marwa diya. Gai (Cow) ke naam me logo ko marwa diya. I have a very different opinion about him. I think
HE IS A KILLER PERSONALITY. (Smiling) (Audience Laughing & Clapping) (Audience Laughing & Clapping) Yaa Meri Samajh se thoda Bahar hai