Modiji, Cow and Elections – Standup Comedy by Vibhor Chaudhary – LIMEWIT Live


To, khair Modi ji ka confidence level to zabardast hai Kyu, Vishwas ji? Jaise aapka naam Vishwas hai unhe khud Vishwas hai To ek jagah bhashan de rahe Bhaiyo aur Behno Mitro Mai aap sab ko batana chahta hu Bhaiyo aur Behno Hamare Gujrat me Hamare Gujrat me Bael bhi doodh deta hai Bhaiyo aur Behno Adhikari ne tok diya Bole Modi ji Bael doodh ni deta Gaye doodh deti hai Ab samajh me Modi ji ke bhi aagya ki galti hogyi hai To usko cover up kaise kar rahe hai To jab unse kuch galti hoti hai to vo emotional ho jaate hai Public ke saamne Bhaiyo aur Behno Mai aap sab se poochna chahta hu Bhaiyo aur Behno Gaye ghaas khaati hai ki nahi khaati hai Bole ji khaati hai Gaye doodh deti hai ki nahi deti hai Bole ji khaati hai Bael bhi ghaas khaata hai mitro To bael ko bhi doodh dena chahiye ke nahi dena chahiye Dena chahiye ke nahi dena chahiye Public ne kaha dena chahiye dena chahiye Desh ki sava sau crore janta mere saath hai Mai dekhta hu bael ko konsi taakat doodh dene se rokti hai To ye Modi ji ka confidence hai Doosre hai Kejriwal Kejriwal mujhe bhot pasand hai Ek to mujhe Mukhya Mantri kam Aisa lagta hai Chaudhary khaandan ki sabse choti bahu hai Jaise pariwaar me sabse choti bahu ke nakhre rehte hai na Maaji ye nahi karne de rahi Saasu ye nahi karne de rahi Aisa hi ye hai Modi ji ye nahi karne de rahe LG ye nahi karne deraha Aapko yaad hoga pichli Diwali pe iski gaadi chori hui thi Haina sir! Aam Aadmi Car WagonR To maine iske Security guard se poocha ki bhai jab iski car chori hui to tu kahan tha Bola sir “Aapko to pata hai, ye leechad aadmi hai” “Maine isse baksheesh maangi isne dii nahi” Maine choro se le li Nahi badiya to mai bhot hoon Uske baad Mulayam Singh Yadav Vo bhi mujhe bohot pasand hai Vo banda apna bhashan khud record karke sune Uske samajh me nahi aata Samajh me? Uske bete ke samajh me nahi aata Vo kabhi kabaar bol deta hai Papa hamari party me hai hi nahi Vo to bete mai aisa nahi keh raha tha Aisa nahi keh raha tha Abhi Shivpal ne apni party alag bana li Toh! Ek din jab UP me chunaav hue Sapa ki sarkaar giri BJP ki sarkaar aayi To patrkar ne ye pooch liya ki aap haare kaise To Mulayam Singh Yadav (Mulayam Singh Yadav murmuring) (Mulayam Singh Yadav murmuring) Bole “Sir, kya keh rahe ho samajh me nahi aaya” “Bole samajh me mere bhi nahi aaya kya bola” Aise hi chal raha hai Doosra Ye jitte bhi politician hai Ye saare mereko lagta hai Ye mythological character hai Ye vo pauranic log hai jo pehle aa chuke hai Ramayan me, Mahabharat me Inki harkate dekho aapko pata chal jaayega Jaise Kejriwal ki harkate aise hi Jaise chinaal aurat Iss shabd pe offend mat hona Jaise, vo harkate kaisi karti hai Jaise, ye tha pehle Suparnika Jaise Suparnika ne pehle Lakshman ko pressurise kiya Mujhse shaadi kar, mujhse shaadi kar Fir usne naak kaatli Ye bhi aise logo ko ungli karta hai pehle Fir bolta hai meri naak kaatli Modi ji the Krishna Bhagwan Jaise Krishna Bhagwan ne wahan updesh diye the Pattha yahan bhi wahi kar raha hai Ye kya bolta hai GST tum bharo Aadhar tum link karwao Bank ke khate tum judwao Saalo jyada teen panch karoge Jhola uthaunga videsh nikal lunga Thank you Aur Amit Shah Khopdi aadmi hai woh Amit Shah hain Bhishma Pitamah Jab Bhishma Pitamah jab mar rahe the na wo Mrityu Kyuki iccha mrityu ka vardaan prapt tha na to Teero ki saiyan par lete hue the To marte marte bhi yahi soch rahe the ki Yeh yudh kisi bhi tarah Paandav jeet jaye Isi tarah Amit Shah bhi yehi sochta hai Do vidhayak, do saansad aur mile Do jagah sarkar aur banau Ab, Modiji ka dikkat ek aur hai Ab maine ek din Facebook pr likha Modi ji To niche comment aa gaya Oye chutiye! Maine kaha “Bhai abhi type kara hai, post thode hi na kara hai” Bola Modi ji ko kuch nahi Modi ji ko kuch nahi Achha ye puch lo ki BJP se ki bhai aap ke 4 saal , 5 saal pure hone wali hai toh Aap hisaab do Modi ji ko bura nahi lagta Bhakt offend ho jaate hain Gala pakad lete hain “Abbe tune chutiye 70 saal se congress se hisaab maanga kya?” “Congress se pucha kya?” Toh main un bhakton ko bata dena chahta hoon ki Jab congress rule kar rahi thi Us waqt main bachha tha yaar Mujhe ni thi political samajh Main nahi puch paaya Abhi ek statement diya Yogi Adityanath ji ne ki Hanuman dalit the Bola tha na Ki Hanuman ji dalit the Phir ek muslim neta ne bol diya ki Nahi, nahi wo dalit nahi musalmaan the Jaise Salman, Suleman aise Hanuman Lekin main Yogi ji ke baat se ittefaq rakhta hoon Hanuman ji Dalit ho sakte hain bhai us time pe Ab socho jis yug me Shri Ram nahi ud pa rahe Aur ek bandar uda phir raha Toh bhai saab aarakshan wala hi kar sakta hai ye Ab socho usne dusre ki sone ki lanka jala di Suraj nigal liya Ye to koi aarakshan wala hi kar sakta hai Koi general wala karta toh Jail me pada hota Lekin phir main sochta hoon ki Yaar jis hissab ki Hanuman ji ki body thi na Wo Jaat ya Rajpoot hi rahe honge

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