One Liner Jokes | Stand Up Comedy by Ashish Dash

Let’s welcome on stage: Mr. Ashish Dash. Hey! Say cheese! No. I don’t want my voice in the picture. Hi! So my sister found out that my mom is a lesbian. I wonder, how? I hate it when my father asks me to get married. Because I don’t want to marry him. When I was about five, six years old,
I used to stay near the beach. Not only I, my whole family. We used to stay near the beach. The view of the sunset from the terrace of my house,
it was amazing. So every day after school,
I used to go up to my terrace and I used to stand in one corner of my terrace,
near the edge, and I’d try to enjoy the sunset. And sometimes, you know, sometimes
my mom would come, and she would stand right behind me, and she would put her hand on my shoulder,
like this. And she would say, “Jump”. My grandparents are alive. And they are pretty much up to date. They still make love. Every night. I caught them filming. Just kidding. Just kidding. They caught me. Stop staring. My grandfather said that to me
when he caught me filming. You know, my.. My dog sleeps 12 hours during the day and 12 hours at night. I call him, ‘Dead’. I love watching silent movies, on mute. Just so you know, Rome wasn’t built in a day.
It was built in a country. Recently I went to an anti-drug campaign and one guy there asked me, “Which drug are you against?” I said, “Crocin”. I did this dumbest thing once. I asked a woman if I could give her a lift. But I was walking. She said yes. So I lifted her from her wheelchair and I dropped her on the ground because I wanted to. My girlfriend likes my penis more than hers. I’m out of time so.. So without wasting any of my own time.. I’ll do a couple of more jokes, okay? I’m doing my jokes in my mind. Man, did you get that? No? You’re dumb. That’s my time guys.
Thank you very much.

100 Replies to “One Liner Jokes | Stand Up Comedy by Ashish Dash”

  1. He is so talented , hilarious and underrated. He is not loved by all because not everyone gets his jokes.

  2. there's a hidden side to this type of entertainment. Profanity. Youth loves profanity. and you can push it too far, comedy at the cost of values and respect for relations. if u get aggressive to read this comment u need treatment.

  3. We need to understand how humor works. We laugh at jokes because they appeal to certain characteristics of human nature. In enjoying any joke, some amount of schadenfreude (google if you don't know what this is) is involved, but what matters is who's or what's loss are we laughing at (even if it is loss of fame, respect, dignity etc. and not just material)… if it is someone, something villainous, or a social malpractice, or the loss is harmless in general then it is acceptable… But in this type of so called "Dark Humor" what we are laughing at is the loss of morality and the level of schadenfreude is much higher and direct.

    If you laugh at such jokes then atleast introspect as to why you find this funny!

  4. Chutiyon ki basti main aik chutiya baqi sab ko aik baar phir se chutiya bana raha hay wo us ki real life baton pay hass k maha chutiyapa bakher k pooray desh main gund phaila rey hain or koi roknay wala nai
    Look kaisay apni maan ko hud gaali day kar logon ko hush kar kay paisa bana raha hay
    All i want to say is laanat hay bhai aisi tarakki pay

  5. So the guy gives us(me) time to think bout what he meant by what he said ..
    And the moment we(I) r(m) sure bout what he meant
    He prove/s us(me) wrong ..
    All this happens in mere seconds , amazing ..

  6. Dude you are fucking funny..
    Also, these are just jokes intended to make the audience laugh, and they are not meant to be taken seriously, they might be weird but are jokes nevertheless..

  7. He is not intelligent But he is stupid he brings those things which are avoided by decent society….and this is new for society so people think…ye kuch Naya hai enjoy Karo…..waste me 4-5 minutes

  8. i never dislikes any comedians video but i think everything has a first tym…
    what a dumb comedian he is and people are still laughing nd those who r not he is calling them dumb…
    if i had been there i asked for refund…

  9. Who is dis guy… Fabulous…. absolutely fantastic….from the poker looks to the unexpected pauses….not for the mass…
    You r to entertain only the select few….we the fortunate few…loved it….

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