I recently discovered something on my phone… A little something… It’s really blowing my mind this technology these days It’s something called Predictive text. Have you guys heard of this? Predictive Predictive text. Wow! It’s annoying? Yeah, well I think sometimes it’s annoying, sometimes it blows my mind! It knows exactly what I’m thinking right? It’s like it’s in my head. It knows what I’m going to say, even before I’m going to say it. Like, I’ll be messaging my girlfriend right? And I’ll be like “I’m… And it will be like “SORRY!” Yeah exactly! Wow!! Wow!! How did you know? You must be really well programmed! Oh no, you’re just a really shitty boyfriend. Oh! Okay okay! Don’t get judgmental on me alright? I shouldn’t have updated you! Alright! And sometime’s though… my phone, it does get annoying, you know? It acts like an over-enthusiastic dumb charades player. You know the dumb charades players always shouting out stuff even before they can hear it. Like you will be trying to suggest something very simple like water fall. And you will be like Okay, two words. Okay. Okay, first word. Okay. Batman Versus Superman: Dawn of Justice!! No, where did that come from? Calm down. That’s the same thing with my phone as well. I’ll be trying to message my roommate. Something simple, right? I want to ask him what he wants for dinner. And I’ll be like… “I’m… And it will be like “Sorry?” I’m like, no, I’m not everyone’s b%@&… just my girlfriends. “I’m.. G… O… Uhh.. G O.. Gonorrhoea, Google, goh goh golfing… good morning, good afternoon gonorrhoea? Is it Google? No, is it Google? I’m like, no, “I’m going” Oh, sorry sorry. Sorry. I’m going. Yeah, okay got it. T… O… T O Tonado, tornado toilet, to-let Tortoise! Tortoise? Tor..tor..tortoise? Tor..tor… Tormentor? I’m like “No!” I’m going “TO”. Okay, I’m sorry. Come on! Just relax! Alright, I’m sorry. O… R… Orangutan! Orange! Orgasm? Orange orgasm Orangutan? I’m like “No, I’m going to ORDER”!! You know what? Screw you! I’m putting you off! No! I’m sorry! No, I’m putting you off. Predictive text. Off! Alright? I don’t need you. I’m going to… O R D E R S… H… S… schezwan schezwan S… H…??? S… Zeswan?? I can’t believe I’m going to do this. Alright, predictive text… On. Okay, “I’m going to order… No, you’ll beat me. Listen I’m… I’m… Sorry? Screw you man!! Thank you very much ladies and gentlemen! You’ve been wonderful! Thank you! Thank you!