Ms. Nygaard, are you familiar with the
defendant Ms. Nygaard Ms. Nygaard Ms. Nygaard I’m a baritone on my period hello friends and welcome to another video presentation sponsored by the
sheer size of my eyeballs today we shall be diving headfirst into the world of
soap making to distract you from realizing that I am the birth child of
Oscar Wilde and Ace Ventura thy and thou and so on and henceforth I have a
private Pinterest board comprising images of origami moons shirts skirts
and things that I kind of hate but sort of like but like a lot but don’t enjoy I
love an item of clothing in a length of pant a cumbersome quixotic cameltoe
these pants are quite literally up my alley well alright now I am a sucker for
fancy soap I could spend a good three days walking around artisanal soap
dispensaries inhaling the fumes until I heard of ringing and got light-headed
and I started burglarizing the store and the general manager asked me to leave I
don’t even prefer soap to a liquid body wash but people are gonna eat this shit
up and mama needs a new black dress a gentlewoman might wear a feather to a
luncheon I feel like these online video tutorials are most usually quite
relaxing but with this one it’s like oh holy cow don’t spill it on this left
boob because it’s the better one for my homemade bar of swirly pearly soupy
poopy soap I wanted to quickly go retrieve my favorite kind of soap so I
got on a plane to Japan with my partner Tyler to whom I am engaged betrothed and
affianced we swiftly came home and after about three hours of toiling with said
bastard soap we realized we had been working really hard we’ve been working
really hard so we decided to grab lunch and got on a plane to Japan just me and
my partner Tyler to whom I am engaged betrothed and affianced upon our return I
discovered I had left the burner on and the whole place have gone up in
flames so abandoning my soap making ideas as swiftly as they came to me in a
midsummer night’s dream as I lay asleep next to my partner Tyler to whom I am enga-
my next step was to find another way to fulfill my hourly syllabic quota
don’t hate enunciate I decided to try on potential wedding gowns for my wedding
that I will be having to get married I’m getting married I had considered
ordering a mystery gown from either stitch fix, le tote wantable or trunk club
I came across this oddly enticing denim gown from fashion Nova which is
distressed in the butt which is perfectly fitting for me as I too am
distressed in the butt I shall order five and now let us see what we shall
now get order next this gown looks white tight and alright after purchasing 82
outfits and some novelty pineapple glasses it was time to try some couture
perhaps at this juncture in order to proceed I should confer with my partner
Tyler to whom I am enslaved manacled and betwatted I am a giant goose! Is the
dress making you walk like that? unconfirmed I was truly feeling my oats
in some perplexing capri Bermuda buttock culottes
this is going to sound really silly but I feel really sexy and I- skies out sighs
out that’s what I always say a bird definitely just pooped on me shits out
pits out my feet are not designed for heels and I might have to reconsider the
footwear attire in my ongoing quest to become a woman I am tempted to sample
the chic French beret how does one beret I am impressed with the internet to IRL
translation the model on Instagram pooches out her butt
but in recreating said image we came to the conclusion that I have consumed far
too much lingonberry and the fit of the top is a little off since my arms are
long my wingspan is identical to that of a Charizard let’s expose my buttock to
unify the Koreas aerated grass hello there’s been a catastrophic earthquake
in Chile well alright and do you Safiya take Tyler
to be your lawfully wedded husband shmash right can we stop this now
please this is just getting silly thank you for coming for Safiya Nygaard that
was an absolute pleasure to do if you’re watching this Sofia hi love did it start
to sound a little bit Elizabeth Holmes-y in places? what’s deeper my voice or
the trouble I’m in yeah it’s not for me to say I haven’t done one of these in
absolute ages but we’re back again if you’ve never been here before was a
whole plethora people to choose from to watch as I just rip them to shreds this
video people have been tweeting at me non-stop I know that he did a video of
Cristine like he’s done a bunch of these but let me just see really quick
well yeah like he’s done simply no logical grav3yardgirl Kathleen Zellner
oh my god so thank you for coming to the Novympia experience now if you want to see
what Sofia thought of this parody then we have to make sure she sees it as
always there’s gonna be a very very small clip of this on Twitter you can
find my Twitter Instagram right here let’s you know tag her its retweet it
maybe she’ll see it maybe she’ll cry and you know who the hell’s gonna be next
who’s gonna be next well I mean probably we’re gonna be gearing up to do a Claire
Saffitz parody from Gourmet Makes Nova and I incorporating all those people in
that stupid kitchen and then maybe Mrs. Crocombe as well from what is that
channel English Heritage I don’t know because that will just be heinous so yes
I’ve been Olympia- ow I’ve been Olympia you for coming dolls there’ll be a message
afterwards about joining the Patreon and please subscribe you know if you liked
this share it with your friends ruin someone’s day
alright cheers The Novympia channel is made
possible by our gorgeous patrons who get early access, exclusive content and buyer’s
remorse a grand welcome to our newest cultists


  1. This started off making sense, then after a while I started to notice that I didnt understand a single thing that was happening

  2. I have no idea if this is meant negatively. But even if it is, this was beautifully done. It's so hilarious and spot on 😂😂

  3. Haven’t been seeing much content recently…no January/February hits and misses…not much gaming or reviews of food packages…Must be busy with drag race 😂😘 see you both or one of you on there at least!!

  4. who in the world are you going to do on Snatch Game? You are the queen of impressions / parody / giving buyers remorse

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