Sam Kinison and His Legendary Scream at Dangerfield’s Comedy Club (1986)

– I tell you what, if you’ve seen him before, you’re gonna want to see him again. And if you haven’t seen him before. You’re gonna get a kick out of bad Sam. Okay Sammy. (audience applauding) – I Love this guy, love him! Well, having a good time folks? – [Unison] Yeah! I think this outfit says. I think this fashion statement says I’m having a good fucking time! (yelling) It’s the kind of clothes you put on, says come on, come on! You want to party fuckhead let’s go! Ah, I just love women! (yelling) My record proves that. I’ve been in love about nine times now and it’s been real every time folks. Every time it was gonna last forever. Remember you fucking bitches! Forever! I buy it every time. I buy it every fucking time. I do man. Love comes along, it
goes, come on, come on. Come on, this is love. This is love, come on. (audience laughing) I’m not like the others no this is new love. Come on trust me, trust me I wouldn’t lie to you 10 times in a row fuckhead, come on. Come on, open the door. Let’s see what she’s like. (yelling) Oh, oh, oh. I thought it was the door to love, it was the door to hell. (audience applauding) It’s true man. So true. Yeah. But what else are you gonna do? You gotta keep falling in love. You gotta believe in it. What are you gonna do, give sheep the vote, you gotta believe in love. Right? That wasn’t very funny. Women, I love women I swear to God. It may not seem like it. But I fucking love women. What am I gonna do. It’s so funny, they’re always out in the audience going how come you don’t talk about men? How come you don’t say
what’s wrong with men? How come you only talk about
what women do, how come? There’s a reason! There’s a fucking reason. Because a man never
broke my fucking heart. (audience laughing) Men never lied to me in love. A man never made me want to drive my car into a fucking wall! (audience applauding) So, when I talk about love, when I talk about relationships, I’m gonna take the male side. You know, that’s all I have to work with here. But I love women, I do love women. I’m not with one right now ’cause it’s a little hard to do this act and mingle after the show. Hi, there, get away, get away, son of a bitch. So I try to do the best I can. I love women. I don’t think they get enough sexual attention. They don’t, come on they don’t. Guys aren’t as in touch with that ’til they’ve been married
a couple of times. Then, I know how it came to me, I was sitting around going you know, after my second divorce I said hey, I bet if I learned how
to fuck really good, I won’t have to give away everything I own every five fucking years! (audience applauding) (audience laughing) Guys out there going, that’s nothing funny, I’m writing that down. I’m gonna learn to lick
something God damn it. I’m not gonna lose my house. Ah, yeah guys really give ’em sexual tension. Take care of your women. Make these women very happy. It’s tough because we
don’t get sex education come on. Men don’t get a lot of information in this country. Nobody helped us. The first time we had intimate sex, oh this is HBO, the first time we were licking pussy. Was anybody there to help you, now way. You were on your own. Nobody helped. That’s why I try to help a little bit. I’m trying to pass things on. Trying to help people. And I know women get all upset. He’s talking about pussy. Yeah, yeah, it’s alright for Dr. Ruth, but I’m a fucking asshole! Is that the game here? Dr. Ruth can spiel her wrinkled elephant gray
grandma ass bullshit. (audience laughing) But I’m out of line! Yeah, I don’t know what I’m talking about. It’s fucking nuts. I’m sorry. I get mad when I think about this one I don’t know why. I don’t know, where did she come from? There’s a Hagen Daz somewhere missing a night manager you know. I swear to God. I listened to her one day on the radio she goes, “Take the man’s penis.” yeah, yeah, when was the last time you saw a fucking man’s penis? You remember, can you remember for us? Who was president then? Can we get some clothes? Were there cars yet or did you suck dick on horseback Annie Oakley? Tell me Dr. Ruth! (audience applauding) She pisses me off I’m sorry. Woman makes me a little crazy. Heard her talking, she goes “If the man’s penis is too small to satisfy the woman then it is perfectly acceptable for the woman to use a dildo or a vibrator and pleasure herself later after she has pleasured the man.” So I’m listening to this psycho babble. (audience laughing) Pleasure yourself later after you’ve pleasured the man? Oh yeah, that’s gonna give the marriage a second chance huh. That’s gonna pump the guy
full of sexual confidence. You’re trying to make love to your wife, the woman you changed your life for and she’s going “Listen
when you’re through there, Mr. Tonka toy would like
a shot at it alright. You want to plug it in on your way out of the bedroom let’s go, move it!” Hope the grinding noise doesn’t disturb Miami Vice. (audience laughing) The guys are going yes Dr. Ruth, thanks to you my wife’s
fucking a lawnmower. (audience laughing) yeah, you helped me out, thanks. You don’t need sexual
counseling folks, come on. You don’t need sexual counseling. Sexual counselors that’s like animal therapy to me. Dog psychiatry. There’s some money I’d like to get on. I’d like to get in on
some of that cash man. Dog psychiatry, yeah, sure. Now why don’t I buy this folks? Guy coming into a fucking
psychiatrist going “It’s Rusty man. I don’t know, he used to be a sparky dog, he was a happy dude man and he used to play with a frisbee and yeah he just hasn’t been himself. Lately he’s been losing his identity.” I say yeah, come on in here we’ll go have a session. Come on in. You’re a fucking dog! Do you understand that
you sit in the yard. Bark you son of a. Yeah that’s it, Rusty’s all better now. Yeah we had a real good session. That’ll be 200 bucks alright. Yeah he’s really opened up. He’s found himself. (audience applauding) yeah he’s a new dog now. That’s what sexual counselors are. You don’t need sexual
counseling, come on folks. You have sexual problems
in your relationship, talk it out. Tell each other what you want. Tell each other what you like. If I can speak for the guys here and I think I can. Right? Hope you know what you’re doing man. Seriously though guys,
I can speak for you. But women, if there’s something that turns you on, if there’s something
that gets you excited? Something that really gets
you hot, makes you nasty, how about filling us in
as to what the fuck it is! Tell us! (audience applauding) We’ll do it! If we know what it is. How can we do it if we don’t know what the fuck it is. Tell us what you want. Will we do it guys! – [Unison] Yeah! – Lot of women are going to be walking around
New York tomorrow going “Yeah, I went to this show last night. God he got excited.” Tell us what you want man. I like that myself. I like that up front approach. You go home with a woman they let you know right off the bat man. You go home and they go, “Come on, get those fucking pants off, get ’em off! You wanted to fuck
buddy, come on let’s go! (audience laughing) Put a helmet on that soldier. Put a helmet on him! He’s going into battle. He’s gonna see some action God damn it, put a helmet on him.” Put a helmet on a soldier? Ah I like that man, they get excited. “Fuck me harder, fuck me harder!” csh, csh, csh! (audience laughing) I’ll fuck you harder, hold on. Ah, tell us what you want. I remember. You want it harder okay,
it’s let’s try this. Hah! You want it harder come on. Ha ha! I’ll give it to you harder. Bam, bam, god damn it. You guys been great. Thanks. (audience applauding) – Thank you.

100 Replies to “Sam Kinison and His Legendary Scream at Dangerfield’s Comedy Club (1986)”

  1. Sam Kinison pioneered combat comedy, and Andrew dice clay pioneered anti-christian comedy, and Sarah Silverman pioneered bitch-craft comedy. Is next Jim Jeffries and Patton Oswald.

  2. I saw Sam at the beginning of his career, doing his act in Nashville. He wasn't widely known yet. Not knowing his act, some people got up and walked out. Apparently, necrophilia with Liberace was kind of offensive! 😂😃😄

  3. Sometimes I dream he is my Guardian Angel… Just like Al Bundy…
    … And Phyllis Diller is my Fairy Godmother…

  4. When Sam taunted Jesus' nails in the hands, he almost certainly relinquished himself to eternal damnation. Sorry Sam, you could have been great.

  5. remember when the left was funny? nowdays this act would be considered alt-right pro-trump white supremacy 🤣🤣🤣

  6. I miss you Mr.Sam Kinnison. I sure hope you made it to Heaven my Brother. I bust a gut laughing. 😆😂😄

  7. I remember when he seemed truly fat. Now he is just average sized or smaller. America has gotten really fat as comedy has gotten more and mor unfunny. These were the good old days

  8. Boy guys like this wouldn't get a chance today in the age of easy offended, safe space and confused with ones gender etc. etc. I watched Andrew Dice Clay the other day and holy smokes I had forgotten how much what would be considered not PC today, topics he had no problem going there. Thanks to the pussification of America in the last good decade, nobody has a backbone and the victim mentality reigns , and they would whine and cry for the boycott and blackballing of these acts.

  9. so I don't get what is with all the yelling ?  Is that supposed to be funny ?  I could do so much better then that if I was backed as hard as Kinison was.    –B. C. G.

  10. "I'm gonna learn how to lick somthin' god damn it !" 33 years later and still some of the funniest and most creative comedy ever.

  11. Funny thing about this is…. during my divorce. I was talking to my soon to be ex on the phone we were still friends & I told him my advice to you on your next woman is learn to go down on a woman!! Lol. When he said that I cracked up laughing!!!!

  12. RIP Sam. A comedy genius gone way way too soon. Long overdue condolences to the family for your loss especially wife Malika 🙁 .

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