Small Talk Denial (Comedy: Kristopher Turner, Glenda Braganza, Richard Young, David Sparrow)


SMALL TALK DENIAL
“Good morning!” “Good morning!”
“How was the weekend?”
“Not long enough.” “Hey, how about that ice storm today?” “Yeah, can’t believe it. Global warming.”
“Global warming.” “Speaking of which, think I’m going to warm myself up with a little liquid caffeine.” “Hey, howdy!”
“Good morning! Can you believe that ice storm today?” “Yes.” “Hey Jude, can you get me some of that liquid caffeine too?”
“Alrighty-roo! Hey Boss!” “Hey! Can you believe that ice storm today?”
“Global warming!” “Hey Roger, how’s your second week at work?
We’re kind of a kooky bunch around here!”
“I’m very grateful for the opportunity.” “Say, how about those Leafs? I mean, they got beat so bad, I think I
got a concussion!” “Boss, I really have to get this report done for
the clients today.” “Listen Roger, I think it’s time for your
first performance evaluation.” “Did I do something wrong? I’ve exceeded all the KPI’s, I’ve readjusted all the P&L’s–” “Yes, but your STA is abysmal.”
“STA?” “Small Talk Ability. If you can’t engage in
small talk, then there’s no place for you here.” “It’s just, office small talk has been really difficult for me. See, the thing is that um… well…I don’t care about any of you.” “Well that’s great! Because we don’t give
a shit about each other!” “Where’s the shits? I don’t see any shits!” “It’s all about the illusion. Check this out. Hey
Amber! Can you believe that ice storm today?”
“Global warming!” “Global warming!”
“Speaking a ice…” “Congratulations!” “Looks beautiful!”
“I’m so happy for you!” “You see Roger? Grade A small talk. Sweet, short, and full of lies. Bets, are you really happy?”
“Nu-uh! I’m seething with jealousy that this scrawny grape is getting hitched.” “And I’m only showing this ring off to rub it in this twat-waffle’s face.” “And I’m a guy. This doesn’t mean anything to me.”
“Then why the false camaraderie?” “It’s either that or murderous anarchy. We have nothing in common yet we
spend most our lives together. So we can either choose to be miserable or
delude ourselves into enjoying each other’s company. You give it a try.
Share something, a tidbit from your life.” “My wife is pregnant.”
“That’s so cute.”
“You go slugger!” “I’m kind of nervous. My father ran away from us when we were
young and not sure—-” “He’s doing it all wrong!” “What?”
“You’re breaking the number
one rule of small talk: Nothing serious. Ever. We are barely clinging to this
workplace fantasy. We cannot carry the burdens on our
co-workers on our backs at the same time.” “Abso-smurf-ly. I’m never going to tell you
that I’m a raging alcoholic.” “Or that my womb is barren.”
“Or that my wife left me for another woman and I sit up late at night thinking about them and alternately crying or masturbating.”
“Or that I’m a Nazi.” “Let’s try this again. “You can do it Roger!”
“Make it sickly sweet!” “Barely funny!”
“Completely vapid!” “I wonder what’s on the cafeteria menu
today. I’m hoping it’s good taste!” “It’s like the active denial of this horrible life is filling me full of energy!” “The power of small talk! Saving offices everywhere. That and coffee of
course. Speaking of which: Judeo?”
“Coming right up gang!” “This is amazing!”
“So a wife? I never would have guessed.” “A lot of people say that.”
“I thought you were gay.”
“Absolutely! Nothing wrong with that though.”
“We’re all out.” “We’re out of coffee?”
“And with the ice
storm that means that the stores are all
closed.”
“Guess we’ll have to kill each other. Daggers?” “I never got a dagger.”
“That’s okay. You can have mine. IN YOUR SPLEEN!” OFF2KALI COMEDY
www.facebook.com/off2kali
www.twitter.com/RichardYoungRY

12 Replies to “Small Talk Denial (Comedy: Kristopher Turner, Glenda Braganza, Richard Young, David Sparrow)”

  1. I think that every time I'm at a loss for words, no matter the location or mood, I will now start asking people if they like my breadsticks. 😉 Thanks for watching!

  2. Thanks! And yes, Richard Young is the writer for this one. But don't compliment him too much; we don't want it going to his head. 😉 Thanks for watching!

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