South Indian Wedding & Train | Stand up comedy English


I am a South Indian, hardcore South Indian. We do a lot of good things in life, we do
a lot of good things but there’s one thing we can’t do right, we cannot have fun at
our weddings. One boring weeding he had. We’ll wake up at this godly hour of 4.01
Am because 4 or 4.02 is rau kaala, have to wake up at 4.01 Am all those maamas and maamis
will be standing for filter coffee, we get a hard on for filter coffee. So when my brother was about get married,
I said no, we have to do this different, we have to have a fun South Indian wedding. Balls, I am not. Dad we have to do something different, he
was like do what you want, (useless call back from previous joke) so I told him let’s
have a sangeet function for my brother, before the wedding let’s have a sangeeet function
, there is a small problem here as South Indians we do not throw a sangeet function, we leave
it to the professionals called the North Indians, because they’ll get 75 of their relatives
lock themselves up in this one room, get this choreographer from that Bollywood reject,
practice every step day in and day out without food, water, air, clothing, self respect they
will do it. Our choreographer will be cousin from fifth
standard who took part in a dance competition and won a participatory certificate because
that one more filter coffee is required, budget constraints. And of course the function was an absolute
disaster, not everybody can dance, Prabhu, all my North Indian friends don’t know how
to behave. So my father said, the wedding has got off
on a very bad note, after the wedding we have to go visit temples I was like of course,
because we have to thank god for giving a girl. We had to go visit temples all across south
india, we had to visit 67 temples. Chi chi chi, abhistu. The only way my father thought we could go
visit these temples is to travel by train, non-ac, last minute booking because that’s
when god knows you are making a real effort to come and see him. People have travelled by a non –ac train
here? Have you realised when you travel by a non-ac
train even the vendors in the train don’t care about existence? They don’t, I was sitting with my family,
this vendor comes in throws the food on our tray, this food is Austin 3.16. so I look at him, sir, why is this food so
cold? He looks at me and goes, no, sir I had to
come from the AC compartment. Pops actually said that. I was like I can’t eat this food, I thought
I’ll relax on the berth and suddenly in the corner of the berth I could see five bed
bugs having the time of their life. So I look at one of them, I’m like hello
sir, is this a family temple trip for you as well? Because I am shit scared of bed bugs, you
could tweet to the railway minister and say there’s a problem in the compartment and
they’ll come and solve the problem, because I am petrified of bed bugs, I can’t sleep
when there are bed bugs, but you could do something at that point in time, you can actually
tweet to the railway minister saying there’s a problem in your compartment and they’ll
come and solve it. I was like wow, IRCTC is getting a hard on,
fantastic. So I pulled my phone out, opened Twitter and
started tweeting to the railway minister. Bro, there’s a problem in out compartment,
there are bed bugs in our compartment, this is the train number, this is the coach number
and lo and behold, four stations later the train actually stopped, three people barged
into the compartment, this lady was like sir where are the bed bugs, I said the bed bugs
are here madam. This woman, goes and get this beautiful piece
of technology I have never seen in my life, she comes with a Laxman Rekha and she’s mental,
crajeeee in the compartment. She’s drawing a square, drawing a quadrilateral,
solving a math problem, drawing a rangoli, I am like why you drawing a rangoli, she’s
like no sir, family temple trip. I was like okay, carry on and that too colour
colour She’s gone mentale and of course the bed bugs are just dancing, fuck you, ah fuck
you, fuck you we’ll cross the Laxman rekha, fuck you. Even they didn’t eat the food that was there,
I was like at least you eat bro. I can’t even sleep now, so I was like what
do I do so I decided to charge my phone. Do y’all know where the charging point is
in a non AC compartment? (Audience) Next to the door. ( Uneducated imbecile) Kakoose. Someone said kakoose, it’s one my friends
only for sure. It’s next to the restroom. I am like wow great, I know what that man
just had to eat, yeah, all of y’all just close your eyes and breathe in a bit. So I out my charger, plug it, put it into
my phone and of course knowing the efficiency of the Indian railways the charging point
wasn’t… Working. Trying to charge not working, trying to charge
not working, trying to charge not working and suddenly from the corner of my eye I could
see a transgender standing next to me, I was like don’t look at her, don’t look at her,
don’t look at her but then suddenly I just looked at her. Now there’s a situation where in she’s looking
at me, I’m looking at her. She’s looking at me, I’m looking at her. She’s looking at me, I’m looking at her. Suddenly both of us had this moment, are you
the one for me? And then she starts talking to me. (Making sensual noise into the mic for effect)
kya re raju, charge khatam ho gayi teri, bada dun kya mein? I went to back to bed bugs, because they bite
it’s fine, if she bites aaaaaaaa!

38 Replies to “South Indian Wedding & Train | Stand up comedy English”

  1. "Aye Raju.. CHARGE KHATAM HO GAYI TERI? MAI BADHA DU KYA?" (and in that accent…perfection) 😛
    Funny man Perumal. Good one da 😀

  2. I will give a 2 out of 5 for humour. Can do better!! Full marks for the effort tho!! Keep the hustle going dude!!

  3. Just had a long day! And this got a real big smile on my face !! Cant stop laughing , can soo relate to it 😂😂 Keep going and continue to make us laugh 😊😊

  4. Lakshman Rekha itseems, I love this video Satish 😂 hope you've experienced the charging point situation irl.

  5. Bengaluru is basically is in the middle of India hence the accent sounds halfway between the northern and southern accent

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