Stand Up Comedian Chantel Marostica Thinks She Can Sing Like Rihanna


guys it’s me a woman yeah yeah I gotta
point it all yeah yeah oh that’s my mom I came out of a vagina
whoa I’m just kidding I don’t know that woman um no I am a woman I’m excited am
i a woman jury’s out on that one yeah I am you’re right you’re right no I’m Guy
Fieri I’m not Oh woof I’m having a weird day I’m having our date cuz um guys I’ve
had a song stuck in my head for so long you know when it’s just been so long
that you kind of want to just slice your face open and take it out just man you
only take it out it’s the worse than like I the worst part of it I don’t even
know the words to the song so it’s even news just ruining my day and that’s my
biggest pet peeve my boyfriend has about me is when I don’t know the words to a
song but I sing it anyway and that’s how I’ve been bugging him all day or just
been like hey Nana Phoenix Ana Finelli hey that’s a me Briana bed dig dig it big penis a me nigga dig it down oh but
uh but uh Mon did she say Monday I thought she says Monday there but my
dad he’s like like that’s enough right I’m annoying myself this is the most
annoying thing I’ve ever done and he’s so patient it’s so kind right
so he’s being patient he’s just like I don’t exist you’re a lesbian oh that joke was a mirage do you guys
remember we’re straight for a bit when we’re all straight
that was fun it happened a minute ago I don’t know if you remember it the big
reveal all of you were like yeah yeah you were so cute that you didn’t laugh
at that like every one of you was like boyfriend that’s a weird name for a girl I’m so like look how gay I am on a scale
of 1 to gay I’m like a strap-on wearing a pantsuit I’m not very Clinton I’m
Hillary Clinton no I’m Guy Fieri it looks like I’m so gay I’m just
wearing a shirt and pants and look ok I look like it looks like there’s like I
think the straight people it looks like there’s an alarm on my door that just
lets me know if I look gay enough to enter society you know like you know
what you’re right I’ll put on a jean jacket you’re kidding I’ll cut the sleeves off
the gayest no I’m gay and I have a beautiful girlfriend she was the
prettiest girl on tinder you guys know tinder right just kidding
my girlfriend’s a beaut she gets catcalled a lot and I think that like
catcalling is never a compliment I think that the men that do it think that it’s
a compliment it’s never like hey beautiful woman who I respected adores
like George Clooney get out of here it’s just some creep that says the most
random gross thing to you and thinks that it’s a couple of like what color
tamagachi would you be yellow I don’t know why am i teaching you it’s never
good right it’s always infuriating but one day my girlfriend got cackled and
she was so mad about it that like you know Lanie’s you know when you’re like
so mad that you’re like your face is a chicken your face is a chicken because
they’re so mad and your feet can’t touch the ground because the grounds hot
laughs and your face is still a chicken whenever you’re ready
and what happened was she was just like walking down the street in the sky
inception cat called her yeah he invented it that’s why you don’t know
what it means like he was just walking by he was like in her ear and didn’t
even look back at her what is that like and if you’re if you’re with someone
that gets cackle do you want to defend their honor right like if I was with my
lady would have been like max I would have been like give me your legs but I
wasn’t there so I’m like Inception cat calling men back just taking back the
night and maybe this shirt who knows right so it just looks a little bit like
this like socks with sandals a third thing about
man you don’t know enough about your people early you guys are just like I
want to remember you but you’re like shoulders and white noise to me if I
remember your face I forget my mom’s name that’s what it is it’s bad like and
I feel like I just like all men look alike I’m like I get it you’re all named
Kyle and you all have Costco memberships somebody throw on a hat for me it just
doesn’t bode well for me cuz I’ll go in public and be like dad dad dad cha-cha
elastica John Kasich I’m a girl looks like you’re yelling at a Remax sign I’m
like you don’t even know my dad looks like my jokes are so meta hey what did
they even mean I can’t calling for me is like when a
man sees me on the street and thinks I’m a celebrity no like hey hey Justin
Bieber like yeah it’s just me Justin Bieber and my
favorite sushi hot spot the mall food tour all right you guys would be great
have a good night

73 Replies to “Stand Up Comedian Chantel Marostica Thinks She Can Sing Like Rihanna”

  1. How can I get to do a stand up for y'all? Tell Kevin I'm a fellow Philadelphian that would kill that stage!

  2. I have to say she is absolutely adorable. The part where she said I don't exist your a lesbian 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂. She had me laughing the whole time.

  3. the people that call her Justin Bieber must be high or drunk because she at least 40 or 50 pounds heavier than Justin Bieber not to mention she don't got that clean cut jawline like he get and that dazzling smile that you steal your girl in a second my man's maybe the only dude that can turn a lesbian that's feminine back straight nobody can pull the lesbians that act like a dude because they want to be a guy so they pretty much know all of are tricks💯🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  4. all her jokes are just men saying there bad and everything its annoying cause all guys look diffrent its annoying

  5. Haha, the mall foodcourt! Watch the whole thing, the last guy's reaction was worth it. Some bad jokes in the middle. Hilarious about the boyfriend. Too bad no one caught it.

  6. She's went str8 to a buffet to eat her misery away, after this set.
    Kevin Hart will have to hire 50c to get his money back from dis tdot (ThatDikeOverThere)

  7. Wow this was horrible… nobody in the crowd laughed. They clapped only when she was done cuz they were happy it was over. Find another career pleeeeeeeez

  8. 5 seconds … and she already wants the audience to picture her getting out of her mom’s vagina …
    Useless piece of flesh

  9. Honestly not the best, but some of the jokes weren't the worrrst ? The concept just wasn't it 😭 the crowd wasn't feeling it either so that made it worse.

  10. this isnt a "women cant be funny" comment/dislike… plenty of women are hilarious.. but this was very bad… keep working tho!! dont give up.

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