Stand Up Comedy: Laurence Whyte’s Interrupted Set #StandUpComedy


Give it up for Laurence Whyte You guys are looking at me like, “He don’t know the words” I know I don’t know all the goddam words words What the Fuck.. How y’all doing tonight? Y’all doing good? Yea.. I’m about to make 51 in this bitch. (Alright) Sunday March 10th (Happy Birthday) Thats right. It’s a lot of shit you don’t do as you get older.. Right.. You know.. Like, I don’t fuck with women under 35 cause y’all don’t know what the fuck y’all want. They don’t know what the fuck they want. You know.. I went on a date I had a girl at my Crib (House) We were in the bed I’m about to smash (Have sex) We both were but ass naked My dick (Penis) hard enough to poke through. BRICKS!!! She tells me some shit.. You know what? I don’t want to do it. What the fuck.. What you mean you don’t want to do it.? You wait till now.. to to fucking, tell me that shit? And, somebody ain’t paying for their drinks. He gone beat her ass when she get home. She drunk than a motherfucker Get the fuck out the fucking!!! Fuck.. shit!!! Fuck!!! Now God Dammit!!! Sometimes… I don’t like your mother!!! Fuck…. Shit… dam….. Cock-a-doodle-dooo That’s what White people say when they don’t want to curse Awww.. fuck you Tommy!!! Skippy peanut butter pan ass… shit !!! Fuck, Kumquat Black people are more descriptive when we curse.. Aye, you a punk ass bitch mother fucka, ole funky ass nigga mother fucka, ole bitch ass nigga!!! We be meaning that shit. Our face be straight….. Ole bitch ass, punk mother fucka, bitch ass nigga, mother fucka you suck my dick!!! White people like, Aww. you just a fucking patsy, you fucking ass, I don’t.. You know!! What fuck? fuck is this shit? That’s how they be getting those diseases.. and shit.. Fucking shit!! I guess… I was talking bad about Tommy and I can’t stop doing this shit.. Mother fucka’s got me all off track I had a whole list of shit These mother fucka’s get up Fucking shit, Kumquat, you can’t fucking Handle your drinks… Susie Susie walking around I wanna fuck a Black Guy.. Any black Guys here? White man don’t like to hear that shit.. You want to fuck a what? I’ll kill you and everybody in the family.. I’ll get a time machine And I’ll go back in time and kill your Dad!!! They be getting pissed the fuck off They hear that black shit What? They don’t give a fuck about how much you make, They don’t give a fuck about what you do for a living.. Is he black? What? I’m going to kill myself No.. Let’s get back to the jokes, I’m tired I went way the fuck over here.. I’m suppose to be mainstream.. I’m way the fuck.. Shit… I was watching.. ahhh An action movie, You ever notice in the action movie When something bad is about to happen Everything just slows down.. That’s the shit you watch for Like time for slow motion shit!! Watch out Tommy… Ahhhh Ahhhh What if that shit happened to you in real life? Like, when something bad is about to happen to you.. The only way you know it Is, you just go in slow motion for no reason.. Everybody else is going normal than a mother fucka, You come out… you Aye man!!!, Nah Nigga, Aye yo!! Yea, alright, I’ll check you out later man.. Awe man!! Something’s about to happen… POW!!!!! Awe man!! I think I’ve been shot !!! POW!!!!! Awe man!! I THINK I BEEN SHOT AGAIN!!! STOP!! SHOOTING!! NIGGAS! Can you imagine a mother fucka fucking. Tearing that shit up, yea.. POW.. POW.. POW And the condom comes off.. POW…. POW.. AWE MAN !!!!!!! I think this bitch got the AIDS.. Mother Fucka got to walk in slow motion for the rest of his life.. I’m just… Chillin Aye man, that nigga walking slow than a mother fucka.. Man, you got that shit? Nawwwww… I’m just chillin.. Nigga Every time he takes his medicine he walks normal than a mother fucka.. That medicine wears off.. he be like Ahh AHHHHH.. Got to take some more medicine.. POW!!!!! AWE!!! MAN!!!! I think I been shot!!! I’M ON MEDICINE!!!!! How of you have jobs?

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