Stephen Rents The ‘Trump Pee Pee Tape’ Hotel Room For A Night


>>Stephen: HEY!
WELCOME BACK. GIVE IT UP FOR JON BATISTE AND
“STAY HUMAN” RIGHT THERE! GIVE IT UP! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
OH, MY GOSH! JON, MY FRIEND, IT HAS BEEN AN
AMAZING WEEK.>>Jon: YEAH.>>Stephen: WE’RE HAVING AN
AMAZING WEEK, THE “RUSSIA WEEK” HERE. THIS MIGHT BE MY FAVORITE NIGHT
TO HAVE THE ENTIRE RUSSIA WEEK BECAUSE THIS NIGHT IS WHY I
WENT. THE PIECE WE’RE SHOWING TONIGHT
IS THE REASON WE WENT. I WAS SAYING TO CHRIS, MY
PRODUCER, AND HE SAID, YOU WANT TO BE GOING TO RUSSIA? I SAID NOBODY’S GOING TO BE
TALKING ABOUT THAT, I’M A DUMMY. THE BIG PART OF THE INTERVIEW
THEY DID WITH TRUMP FOCUSED ON THE DOSSIER. BACK IN JANUARY, TEN DAYS BEFORE
TRUMP WAS INAUGURATED, A DOCUMENT WAS LEAKED CONTAINING
ALLEGATIONS THAT TRUMP HAS DEEP FINANCIAL TIES TO RUSSIA, THAT
HIS CAMPAIGN WAS BEING SUPPORTED BY THE RUSSIAN GOVERNMENT, AND
THAT THE RUSSIANS HAD A COMPROMISING VIDEO OF DONALD
TRUMP WATCHING PROSTITUTES URINATE ON A BED IN THE MOSCOW
RITZ CARLTON PRESIDENTIAL SUITE. IT WAS A BOMBSHELL, AND WHEN
FORMER F.B.I. DIRECTOR JAMES COMEY INFORMED THE PRESIDENT
ABOUT IT, TRUMP WASN’T HAPPY. HE TOLD THE “TIMES,”
“WHEN HE BROUGHT IT TO ME, I SAID THIS IS REALLY MADE-UP
JUNK. I JUST THOUGHT ABOUT, MAN, THIS
IS SUCH A PHONY DEAL.” AND REMEMBER, AS THE FOUNDER OF
TRUMP UNIVERSITY, HE’S AN EXPERT ON PHONY DEALS. ( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE ) ( PIANO RIFF )
TRUMP CLAIMED HE CAN PROVE IT’S BOGUS BECAUSE “I HAVE WITNESSES. YOU KNOW, I WENT THERE WITH
PHIL RUFFIN.” NOW, I THOUGHT PHIL RUFFIN WAS
THE ARCH NEMESIS OF MCGRUFF THE CRIME DOG. “I’LL GET YOU, RUFFIN!”
( LAUGHTER ) BUT IT TURNS OUT, HE’S A CASINO
OWNER FRIEND OF TRUMP’S. LET’S TAKE A LOOK AT THIS
UPSTANDING CHARACTER WITNESS THEY CALL PHIL RUFFIN– OH, THEY
TOTALLY DID IT. YEAH. YEAH, THEY DID IT. NOW, THE WILDEST ACCUSATIONS IN
THAT DOSSIER HAVE NEVER BEEN CONFIRMED. BUT AS FAR AS I KNOW, NOBODY HAS
TRIED. HERE’S THE REASON WHY. THE MEDIA SAID IT’S TOO
SALACIOUS FOR US TO LOOK INTO. BUT IT’S THE ONLY PART WE CARE
ABOUT OR TALK ABOUT, THE PEE PEE TAPE! PEE PEE TAPE! PEE PEE TAPE! PEE PEE TAPE! THERE WAS ONE MAN BRAVE ENOUGH
TO GO TO MOSCOW AND CHECK IT OUT. HE HAS TWO THUMBS. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
JIM?>>STEPHEN: MOSCOW. THE HEART OF MOTHER RUSSIA. THE SOURCE OF THE GREATEST
POLITICAL TURMOIL TO AFFLICT THE HIGHEST ECHELONS OF THE UNITED
STATES GOVERNMENT IN A GENERATION. I WENT TO THE RUSSIAN BEAR’S DEN
MYSELF TO ASK THE QUESTION THAT OTHERS WERE AFRAID TO —
DO YOU HAVE THE PEE PEE TAPE? DO YOU HAVE THE PEE PEE TAPE? I’LL ALSO TAKE THE PEE-PEE TAPE,
I WOULD LIKE THE THE PEE PEE TAPE? THE PEE PEE TAPE? THE PEE PEE TAPE? FOR SOME REASON, ASKING RANDOM
PEOPLE FOR THE PEE PEE TAPE WASN’T WORKING. SO I MET WITH RUSSIAN
SURVEILLANCE EXPERT ANDREI SOLDATOV. A JOURNALIST CRITICAL OF THE
KREMLIN’S SURVEILLANCE TACTICS, ANDREI HAS BEEN INTERROGATED BY
THE F.S.B. FOUR TIMES! I MET HIM AT AN UNDISCLOSED
MOSCOW HOTEL. HELLO, ANDREI.>>HELLO, STEPHEN.>>STEPHEN: JUST IN CASE WE’R
— I KNOW YOU DON’T HAVE THE ANSWER TO THESE QUESTIONS BUT DO
YOU THINK THE RUSSIANS HAVE CMOPROMOT ON DONALD TRUMP?>>I DON’T KNOW. HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT THE PEEPEE
TAPE?>>YES.>>Stephen: WHAT HAVE YOU
HEARD?>>THERE WAS SOMETHING
EMBARRASSING ABOUT DONALD TRUMP BUT NO DETAILS.>>Stephen: NO DETAILS? WELL, SOME DETAILS.>>Stephen: LIKE WHAT? LIKE SOMETHING ABOUT SHOWER
>>STEPHEN: YES. A TYPE OF SHOWER. A TYPE OF SHOWER. IS– DID THE SHOWER HAVE A
PARTICULAR COLOR?>>YEAH, I THINK SO.>>STEPHEN: COULD YOU NAME THE
COLOR? WHAT COLOR WAS THE SHOWER?>>SOMETHING ABOUT GOLD, OR
YELLOW.>>STEPHEN: YEP, GOLD. AND– WHO MIGHT HAVE PROVIDED
THAT? WAS IT FROM A FAUCET? OR WAS IT– WHO MIGHT HAVE
PROVIDED THE SHOWER?>>SOME GIRLS, MAYBE?>>STEPHEN: SOME GIRLS? JUST, LIKE, SOME FRIENDS? LIKE, SOME P– JUST STOPPED BY
FOR FUN?>>WELL, I DO NOT HAVE THESE
KIND OF DETAILS.>>STEPHEN: YOU DON’T HAVE THESE
DE– DETAILS. OKAY. WELL, IN THE UNITED STATES, IT
WAS REPORTED THAT WHEN DONALD TRUMP WAS STAYING AT THE
RITZ-CARLTON, HE STAYED IN THE PRESIDENTIAL SUITE, WHICH I
BELIEVE IS ROOM 1101, AND THAT HE HIRED TWO PROSTITUTES TO PEE
IN THE BED BECAUSE THIS ROOM HAD ALSO BEEN OCCUPIED BY BARACK AND
MICHELLE OBAMA, AND IT WAS A FORM OF INSULT TO THEM TO HAVE
THESE WOMEN COME DO THAT ON THE BED. DID YOU GUYS HEAR THOSE DETAILS
OVER HERE?>>YES.>>Stephen: THE IDEA IS THAT
THERE WERE SURVEILLANCE CAMERAS IN THIS ROOM BECAUSE THE
BUILDING IS WIRED AND THAT THE F.S.B. HAS THIS BECAUSE THEY
AUTOMATICALLY HAVE CAMERAS IN THE ROOM AND THEY CAUGHT THIS
HAPPENING.>>WELL, THAT MAKES SENSE.>>STEPHEN: DOES MAKE SENSE?>>OKAY.>>STEPHEN: NO ONE FROM AMERICA
HAS GONE TO– TO SEE WHAT THAT ROOM IS LIKE OR TO TRY TO VERIFY
THAT STORY IN ANY WAY. WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE TO DO TO–
TO GET ACCESS TO THAT ROOM?>>MAYBE TO CHECK INTO THE
HOTEL?>>STEPHEN: THAT SEEMS
EXTRAORDINARILY COMPLICATED. BUT WE DID IT. IT’S TRUE, ROOM 1101. THE PRESIDENTIAL SUITE OF THE
RITZ CARLTON. WE RENTED IT. HERE’S THE KEY. LET’S GO! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
THE GLAMEROUS RITZ CARLTON PRESIDENTIAL SUITE. CHAMPAGNE DREAMS AND PEE PEE
WISHES. TEN GLORIOUS ROOMS, FILLED WITH
GRAND PIANOS AND CLOSETS SO BIG YOU COULD HIDE A CORPSE. IT HAS ALL THE MODERN AMENITIES. BUT OF COURSE, THERE IS ONLY ONE
REASON TO RENT THIS SUITE. HELLO. JOIN ME, WON’T YOU? IN THE BEDROOM OF THE
PRESIDENTIAL SUITE OF THE RITZ CARLTON IN MOSCOW. THE ROOM WE HAVE HEARD SO MUCH
ABOUT, AND YET NO ONE HAS COME TO CHECK IT OUT AND I DON’T KNOW
WHY. WHEN YOU ARE IN THIS ROOM, I
JUST DON’T KNOW HOW TO DESCRIBE IT– YOU ARE SOAKED IN HISTORY. ( LAUGHTER )
IT WASHES OVER YOU. ( LAUGHTER )
IT’S NOT EVEN LIKE IT’S IN THE PAST– URINE IN HISTORY. ( LAUGHTER )
URINE IT, YOU KNOW WHAT I AM SAYING? I AM SAYING THAT THE PEE PEE
TAPE SUPPOSEDLY TOOK PLACE ON THAT BED, IS WHAT I AM SAYING. THE DOSSIER ALLEGES THAT DONALD
TRUMP WAS IN THIS ROOM. WE DON’T KNOW WHERE HE SAT. IT COULD HAVE BEEN ON THIS BENCH
DOWN HERE, THOUGH I DOUBT IT BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT YOU’D CALL
THE SPLASH ZONE. YOU ARE GOING TO WANT TO WEAR A
PONCHO. COULD HAVE BEEN ON THE COUCH,
OVER THERE. BUT WHAT WOULD THAT LOOK LIKE? JOIN US, WHEN MY INVESTIGATIVE
JOURNALISM CONTINUES.>>STEPHEN: PEE PEE TAPE. PEE PEE TAPE. YOU KNOW WHEN YOU HAVE IMAGINED
SOMETHING FOR SO LONG, THAT WHEN YOU FINALLY SEE IT, IT DOESN’T
MATCH WHAT YOU PICTURED? THAT’S NOT THIS FEELING AT ALL! ( LAUGHTER )
THIS IS RIGHT ON THE MONEY. HOLY COW. THAT’S THE KREMLIN, RIGHT THERE! THEY WOULDN’T EVEN NEED CAMERAS
IN THIS ROOM– PUTIN COULD WATCH WITH BINOCULARS. WITH MY INITIAL SURVEY COMPLETE,
ANDREI REJOINED THE INVESTIGATION. BECAUSE THE PRESIDENTIAL SUITE
IS KNOWN TO BE UNDER SURVEILLANCE, WE SWEPT THE ROOM
FOR CAMERAS AND LISTENING DEVICES. THEY COULD BE ANYWHERE, EVEN THE
POTTERY. IS THERE ANY WAY OF KNOWING IF
THERE’S LISTENING DEVICES IN HERE?>>WELL, FOR THAT YOU NEED
SPECIAL EQUIPMENT.>>Stephen: OR YOU COULD BREAK
IT OPEN?>>THAT’S ALSO AN OPTION.>>Stephen: YEAH. OBVIOUSLY.>>Stephen: YEAH, THERE’S KNOT
IN THERE. ( PHONE RINGING )
>>Stephen: HELLO? (INAUDIBLE).>>Stephen: THERE IS AN
EMERGENCY BUTTON IN MY ROOM?>>(INAUDIBLE).>>Stephen: NO, EVERYTHING IS
GREAT. THANK YOU. THANK YOU FOR CHECKING. YEAH, THEY’RE ON TO US. YEAH. THA
THAT WAS ANDREI’S CUE TO LEAVE. BUT I WASN’T DONE. SO, WHO KNOWS WHAT REALLY
HAPPENED IN THIS ROOM? SCIENCE DOES, AND TONIGHT,
SCIENCE IS ON YOUR SIDE. HIT THE LIGHTS. ( CHEERING )
LET’S INVESTIGATE. I WANT TO THANK ACTION NEWS TEAM
CHANNEL 53 FOR LENDING ME THEIR BLACK LIGHT. OKAY, I’M GOING IN. THIS PILLOW LOOKS CLEAN. THAT CHECKS OUT, NO EVIDENCE
THERE. OH, I GOT SOMETHING. “FAKE NEWS, NEVER HAPPENED, SAD. SADDER STILL, I’D COME 5,000
MILES TO FIND THE PEE PEE TAPE, AND WAS LEAVING WITH NO PROOF
THAT DONALD TRUMP WAS EVER HERE. WORST OF ALL, THIS ROOM WAS
EXTREMELY EXPENSIVE SO THIS IS WHERE I’M STAYING TONIGHT. GUYS, YOU CAN GO. WOULD YOU MIND KILLING THE
LIGHTS ON YOUR WAY OUT? AHHH! ( SNORING )
DO YOU MIND?>>SORRY, STEPHEN, MY BAD. NIGHT NIGHT. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>>STEPHEN: THANK YOU, RITZ CARLTON, AND SORRY ABOUT THIS. JOIN ME TOMORROW FOR THE
EXCITING CONCLUSION OF RUSSIA WEEK. BECAUSE UNLIKE THE RUSSIA
SCANDALS, THIS WEEK WILL EVENTUALLY BE OVER. WE’LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH JASON
BATEMAN. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
( BAND PLAYING )

100 Replies to “Stephen Rents The ‘Trump Pee Pee Tape’ Hotel Room For A Night”

  1. wow. this guy must really hate trump to do all of those expensive stuff just to entertain people. Proves to be a dedicated comedian and entertainer.

  2. Rented a room only to watch Russian whores urinate in the bed, a fucking waste of money; sounds like dumb witchcraft. Pee pee recording is, ''toilet water recording''. Fucking boring! No crazy sex with 2 women in a watered down bed, not interested!

  3. Stephen, your have become Woodward and Bernstein for Trump, only much funnier. I am reminded also of The Emperor's New Clothes. I am seeing this belatedly due to a pesky stroke…so, belatedly, live long and prosper, bro'.

  4. I just thought that Lumpy may have been laying down to watch if you get my drift. You know he is yellow/orange just sayin

  5. I'm a conservative. I thought this video was hilarious. It's kinda sad to think my side of people are the ones who frollick calling people snowflakes, but are snowflakes themselves whenever someone makes fun of a political standpoint. Oh well.

  6. This is the first time I've heard that he'd hired them to piss on the bed because Barack and Michelle and stayed there…if that's true, I'm completely appalled. I'd only imagined he was into golden showers. Hotel staff must have been pretty pissed off cleaning up that mess. I guess if you're rich and have no morals @ all, replacing a mattress is no big thing. And Evangelicals voted for this bag of feces in droves. I don't get it.

  7. Not an American or trump supporter but Stephen became kinda pathetic, all he did is trump jokes since he replaced letterman it's like he can't do actual comedy
    Idk it's just not funny anymore

  8. Stephen Colbert needs to be beaten until he begs for forgiveness for what this Orange Man Bad drone did to comedy.

  9. Why don’t u investigate why min wage doesn’t cover rent and why army contractors are pushing government in constant wars ,costing taxpayers going into debt ,about the private jails pushing government to put people in jails and keep them there so they can collect billions running jails ,costing taxpayers money ..

  10. Stephen is really obsessed with Trump on every show, I think when trump will not be voted as next president Stephen will be in trouble he will have nothing to talk about

  11. "All these TRUMPed up towers, they're just golden showers…" – Don Henley – "Gimme What You Got".

  12. The pee pee tapes start around 7:30. How gross 😝. I had no idea this took place. Disgusting😷

  13. Didn't Mueller find No collusion and therefore no obstruction of justice!!! Watching all this from afar watching both sides of this madness, I can honestly say the Russia trump stuff was all a set up to get Trump out of office before the established corrupt (Swamp) elites that have ruled and controlled America for many many years are all taken down. And for what its worth, Just imagine if Trump and all his supporters are right and all you have been told on MSM was a lie. Imagine if everything was the opposite of what you have been led to believe for many years. Try forgetting all you think you know and have been told is fact, and think for yourself by listening to BOTH SIDES before you make a logical decision. Listen to many of left and right. Something is wrong and we all know it. How to find who is telling the truth ! The truth is in the pudding. Research. Research Research. Maybe Trump is an arsehole, Maybe Obama supported Isis. How to really know the truth. Are we not all imperfect!, Yet we can still do a stellar job. From afar it seems to me America is finally bringing blacks, whites, and all other races together as just Americans. Working Americans. I say Working Americans make America great and to end this rant, Imagine a first Black Female with incredible intellect, a love for all Americans, Compassionate and progressive as Potus ! . Watch and listen to Candace Owens. The real deal. Try it. Do it whatever, but the hate for Trump is OTT. Why I asked myself. When you look again I'm sure you will be thinking again too.

  14. this is the pinnacle of their evidence consensus and probable desire. its a good example of how the polluted corrupt cowardly dishonest lying leftist trash dnc 'demands; dont care that theyre lying cowardly (criminal in the clinton crew cases etc) disgraced desperate deplorable examples of anti constitutional waste. as long as they can build a fake consensus that doesnt need facts or even the process of a mueller time. stephanie would be a good running mate for savior swalwells services. lol.

  15. is in this room stormi daniels say about the mushroom off the conguy ???? pepepepepe is for that ivana takes the plane too goes in florida…you see florida…big mushroom overther ….lololol

  16. Send Trump back to PeePee, send Trump back to Pee pee, send Trump back to Pee pee, send Trump back to Pee pee.

    Tripolar cause Mania and Depression aren't Enough.

  17. You can buy special Radio Frequency units that you use like a Geiger counter to sweep around the room and it’ll detect devices if near. Slightly overdue comment but only discovered the show a few months back.

  18. Wonder if they charged trumps credit card for that soggy piss stained mattress? I bet it was DENIED!!! If they did….broke ass donald roflmao!!!!!

  19. When the world is getting dry you have to pee to get it wet at least in California and Texas Colorado and Russia gremlin and UAE hotels. Let alone desert of China and atakama desert in Aussie.

  20. While we Americans work to stay afloat, this is what our ruling class does. It's the NORM. It's insane. The constitution says that when this Gov’t becomes ineffective, it's out duty to abolish it and start anew. Is it crazy enough, or do you need more?

  21. And it was all bullshit. Cost America millions.Went on every day for 3 years.Clinton paid a MI6 agent who with the Ukraine Mob Tried to over throw Trump with a lie. Pathetic. .

  22. its very interesting watching stephen's mannerisms versus the russian reporter. the behaviour of a man who knows the scary people wont touch him versus a man that is wondering if he'll abducted tonight.

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