The Puppet Parole Officer from Hell – Key & Peele


– GOOD MORNING. CLIVE “DOUBLE DOWN” RUGGINS,
I’M DANIEL TATE. I AM YOUR PAROLE OFFICER,
AND I JUST WANT TO HELP YOU. – HOW THE HELL YOU SUPPOSED
TO HELP ME, MAN? WHAT THE [bleep] YOU
KNOW ABOUT THE STREETS, WHAT WITH YOUR DIPLOMAS
ON THE WALL? – SETTLE DOWN. I KNOW THAT YOU MIGHT NOT
BE ABLE TO RELATE TO ME, BUT I THINK I KNOW SOMEBODY WHO YOU CAN RELATE TO. LITTLE HOMIE. – WHAT UP? WHAT UP?
IT’S MY FAVORITE CLIVE. [laughs] WHAT UP, DUDE?
– NAH, DOG, LISTEN. HEY, MAN, I AIN’T TRYING
TO TALK TO NO PUPPET, MAN. – IT’S NOT A PUPPET. IT’S LITTLE HOMIE, AND I WOULD LIKE
FOR YOU TO TALK TO HIM, CLIVE. SEE, I USED TO WORK IN
THE JUVENILE CORRECTION SYSTEMS, AND I FOUND
THIS METHOD VERY EFFECTIVE. – I AIN’T NO JUVENILE,
MAN, OKAY? – HE’S RIGHT. DOES HE LOOK LIKE A KID
TO YOU? COME ON!
HE’S A GROWN-ASS MAN. – SEE? WHAT? – LOOK, IT’S VERY IMPORTANT FOR YOUR PAROLE
THAT YOU TALK TO LITTLE HOMIE. – WHAT’S UP, LITTLE HOMIE? – [laughs]
THAT’S BETTER, MY NEGRUMPS. HEH, WHAT YOU GETTING
INTO THESE DAYS, MAN? WHAT IT IS? WHAT IT IS? YOU GOT A JOB YET? – [sighs] I’M TRYING, MAN,
BUT NO ONE WILL HIRE ME. – YEAH, HEY,
[bleep] ALL THAT NOISE, MAN. BETWEEN YOU AND ME, MAN, AIN’T NOBODY TRYING
TO HIRE A [bleep] WITH A RECORD. BUT HEY, MAN,
WHAT YOU NEED TO BE DOING IS GET BACK INTO SOME CRIMES,
MANG. – [stammers]
WHAT’S GOING ON, MAN? – ARE YOU TALKING TO ME?
– YEAH. – WELL, YOU SHOULD BE TALKING
TO LITTLE HOMIE RIGHT NOW. – WHAT IS GOING ON?
– YEAH, BITCH! TALK TO ME! LOOK AT ME
WHEN I’M TALKING TO YOU! – OKAY, OKAY, FINE. – [panting] DAMN! SO, YOU SMOKING WEED, [bleep]? – NO, MAN.
NO, NO, LITTLE HOMIE. I’M DONE WITH DRUGS. – [laughs] [bleep].
I GOT SOMETHING. UH-OH, UH-OH, UH-OH. LOOK AT THIS HERE, NEGRUMPS. SMOKE THIS WEED! – NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, MAN. I’M DONE, MAN.
YOU HEAR ME? I’M DONE WITH DRUGS. I AIN’T DOING ALL THAT. – I DON’T KNOW. LITTLE HOMIE
SEEMS PRETTY SERIOUS ABOUT THAT. – HERE. – WHAT?
LOOK, I’M CONFUSED, MAN. WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO HERE? – WELL,
I WANT YOU TO CLEAN UP YOUR ACT, BUT YOU’RE NOT TALKING
TO ME RIGHT NOW. YOU’RE TALKING TO LITTLE HOMIE. – NOW SMOKE THAT [bleep] OR I’LL SMOKE THIS BITCH
RIGHT HERE. – OH, MY GOD. HE’S NOT MESSING AROUND. I THINK YOU BETTER
DO WHAT HE SAYS. – OKAY, ALL RIGHT.
LITTLE HOMIE, MAN. JUST RELAX, MAN.
RELAX, LITTLE HOMIE. TAKE IT EASY. I’M JUST–
I’M GONNA SMOKE IT DOWN. WAIT, WAIT,
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, YOU CAN’T FOOL ME. YOU’RE TRYING TO TRICK ME, MAN. NO, I’M DONE WITH THE WEED. [gunshot] OH! – [chuckles] CATCH, [bleep]. [laughs] DUMBASS! NOW YOUR FINGERPRINTS
IS ON THE WEAPON! YOU IN THIS WITH ME NOW, RIGHT? – OKAY, LITTLE HOMIE, YEAH. – HMM. – OH! OH! – YOU FAILED THE TEST. I HAVE NO CHOICE
BUT TO REVOKE YOUR PAROLE. – WHAT?
OH, MAN. AIN’T THIS ABOUT A BITCH? – ON YOUR FEET, BABY BOY. – GET HIM OUT OF HERE. – COME ON. – I CAN’T BELIEVE THAT NEGRUMPS
ACTUALLY THOUGHT I KILLED YOU. – I KNOW, RIGHT?

100 Replies to “The Puppet Parole Officer from Hell – Key & Peele”

  1. I didn't notice until I watched it a 2nd time that right at the end, Lil Homie talks while Jordan is drinking from the glass!!! Hilarious…….

  2. Y’all should know, I unsubscribed to y’all a channel Bc y’all edited this to cut out the cursing and the N word, it’s like throwing red paint, all over the Mona Lisa

  3. Bleeped put "nigger" all of a sudden? Yet you make fun of PC in your pirate sketch? Damn, the system's raping yjose who fight against it. Never good.

  4. I think most of people here missed the twist. At the end 4:13 he was drinking still his puppet was talking, it means that was actually a talking puppet

  5. Hey, check the time. It might be way past your bedtime. You might have stayed up way too late watching endless Key and Peele sketches. Just watch one more after this, okay?

  6. Fuck all the quotables and quips from this video. It's the look on the parole officer's face when he's talking to Key that does it for me lmao!!!!!

  7. I mean, he should’ve succeeded in passing the test. He didn’t smoke the weed, and “not stopping a murder” technically is perfectly legal.

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