How many people here… still take the train? Take the train, yeah? Take the train take the train yeah? Make some noise if you take the train! Don’t be ashamed! Yeah. How many people here… still take a shit on a train? Come on! Make some noise! Yeah! Okay. Wow! Okay. Yeah? Yeah? Pretty good dude. That’s pretty good. Holding it in there. You’ve got some great will power there man. I’m sure you sit there on a train journey for 3 days you know…. just going “We shall over come… we shall over come… we shall over come this- frrt! Oh sorry. Oh man. I only bring this up… okay, because… taking a shit on the Indian train, on the Indian toilet…. It’s like taking a shit… and riding a horse at the same time you know? You’ve got to know aerobics and gymnastics
and shit. Because you go inside and it goes… No, I can do this! I’ve just got to… get the rhythm of this whole thing, come on! One.. Two… Three… Just when you’re going to do your thing, You’ll roll over You’ve got some guy’s urine all over your
head! Been there, don’t that! Funny because it’s true! Smelly. And train toilets man… you know, they have two kinds of latches. Right, there two kinds of latches in train
toilets. There’s the latch that you put like that, to make sure that the door is safe and secure. And there’s the latch that you leave open, to let people outside know that it’s occupied. People go inside… and they forget to use the latch that actually
matters. And you… unsuspecting victim… Loaded up on that train biriyani, you know? Some of that, tomato soup. Because you have nothing better to do. All you do is eat on the train, you know? Oh that tomato soup has bread crumbs? Why not try it.. Oh okay great! I have to go to the toilet. You unsuspectingly, just like… running. Oh look, there’s an unoccupied toilet! It must be my lucky day! AAARGHH!!! God damn it, because… Once you’ve seen a man doing his thing, you can never look at him the same way again,
you know? You’re going to keep bumping into him in the same compartment like… Hey! Bum, shit fellow! Yeah yeah! And thing is, if you’re lucky though if you go on a train toilet, if you’re really lucky. Gods are really kind upon you that day… You’ll find, a steel mug… attached to a chain. Oh that chain! Such bittersweet moments. Because here’s the thing man, you go in there right… Oh, how very cute! How very thoughtful of the Indian Railway, now I don’t have to bring my own mug. So sweet! I don’t need this empty Bisleri bottle anymore,
okay cool! Thank you very much Indian Railway! No problem you do your poop. Alright thank you! Thank you! No, just go do it. Alright fine! I’ll go now. And you go there… and you do you thing. Going to relieve yourself. Find a couple of bread crumbs… And then… You fill your mug with water. You try to bring it around to your backside
and it goes Chkk…Chkkk.. No! No, the chains too short!! The chains too short no!! Bisleri bottle no!!!!!!