Jesus, can you hear me? I don’t know where else to turn. I’m desperate. I need your help. I can hear you, my son. I have always been listening. Who are you? It is I, Jesus. I heard your prayer
and I’ve come to help you. You’re not Jesus. I… I am. But doesn’t Jesus look
a bit more like…? Oh! Oh, I see, you, er…
You thought I’d be white. Kind of, yeah. Look,
I don’t know what to tell you. I was born in the Middle East
2,000 years ago, the Bible’s very clear about that. It should be pretty obvious I don’t
have blonde hair and blue eyes. I guess so.
Plus, have you heard my story? I was arrested by a mob
of angry government officials and beaten for a crime
I didn’t commit. That shit doesn’t happen
to white people. And there was some confusion
over who your father was. OK, that’s just racist. Sorry. It’s just… You’re not really
what I was expecting, that’s all. Would you like me to fetch
white Jesus instead? Oh, could you? No! There is no white Jesus. It’s just me.
Now, do you want my help or not? Yeah, I suppose so. After all, you know, black or white,
we’re both still Christians, right? I’m guessing now’s not the time to tell you I’m Jewish.