This Is the Hottest Thing a Man Can Do – Sarah Tiana

The hard part
is that we’ve scared men out of making basic decisions, which to me is the sexiest thing
a man can do. I have to say, I think the
sexiest thing a man can do is make a plan. Just got so relaxed for a s– Right? Oh, it’s so hot. The reason men– all the men– “Well,
I didn’t plan to come here– I don’t know. She said,
’Put on a clean shirt. We’re going to the comedy.’” And is that plan– Like we’re so excited
to go out with you, and then right before the day we’ll get a text that’s like, “Where do you wanna eat?” Goddamn! Like you’re paying for it. Like I don’t know what you’re
financial background is. You could be an unlimited
breadsticks guy. You know? Right? Like a free-refills kinda dude, which is absolutely fine, but that’s just
a suggestion over there. Or you could be like
a fancy steakhouse guy, right? Like a Ruth’s Chris fucker. Right? Like a guy that’s like, “I bring my own wine to dinner, and I brew it in Indonesia. Little babies step on it
for me.” Okay. Well, that’s a suggest– That’s a huge difference. And I know why men ask us
that question. It’s a sincere question. I get it. You’re asking me that question because you wanna make sure that if you take me
to a restaurant on our date, that I’ll be able to find
something on the menu that I will enjoy. Right? Yeah. Ha. Here’s a– Ha. If you– Hm. If you take a woman to a restaurant, and she can’t pick just one frickin’ thing off of an entire menu– What– What are– Run! Run! Like run right now! It is happening. I’ll pay your tab.
Just go. Just be like,
“Oh, my shoes are on fire.
Isn’t that weird?” And then set them on fire
and run out the goddamn door. If she can’t eat, she can’t
swallow. Do you understand? That ain’t the progress
of a human person. It’s just a menu. It ain’t algebra. Like I ain’t even here to eat. I’m here to get to know you. The meal is irrelevant. But huh, okay. Uh, yeah.
( trills ) Okay, let’s turn it. Here’s the other part
of that deal, guys. You are paying for dinner. I don’t know what the fuck
is going on right now. People tell me all the time,
“Well, Sarah, chivalry is dead.” Well, it was murdered,
I think, actually. And we need to launch
an investigation ’cause I don’t know who did it. I think it was the Dutch,
but I can’t prove it. I can’t tell you
how many times I’ve been out to dinner on a date that I’ve been invited on, and then I’ve offered
to pay for dinner or for half, and the guy goes,
“Hah! That’d be great.” Whoo. I bet it would be
fucking great. Bro. Pal. I don’t even bring
my wallet anymore. I don’t. I don’t. I bring my ID. And I don’t reach for that,
out of courtesy. Look at all their wheels
spinning, ladies. Ooh, they getting mad now. Whoa, sir,
women are independent now. This is what y’all wanted. Y’all been fighting
for y’all’s rights and marchin’. Just walking back and forth. Y’all make equal wages now,
almost. Y’all can afford to pay
for dinner. You’re goddamn right I can
afford to pay for dinner. And if I wanted
to be paying for it, I would be eating it alone! All by myself! That’s what independent is!

100 Replies to “This Is the Hottest Thing a Man Can Do – Sarah Tiana”

  1. Women are literally risking their lives and integrity every time they go out with a man. That's what they're paying with, much higher price. So men, pay for the fucking three course meal and wine.

  2. If you didn't want to pay, then why did you offer AND if you don't know where you want to eat then how the Fuck are we should to know. GTFOH

  3. Pay attention, fellas. This is all true. Do not give a women any responsability. She is looking for Daddy. So be ready to adopt a child.

  4. Weird. Almost like she doesn't know what has been going on for quite a while. Go on. Continue to eat all alone. You created this stage. Continue to play on it. Alone.

  5. Chivalry: I’m equal, but you’ve gotta pay for me, open doors for me, hold my purse, and so forth. To this I say, if you want to establish that there is a cost to trying to fuck you, you have. What’s it called when there is a definitive cost for sex again? Oh, right, prostitution. Dating is essentially prostitution where were obfuscate the deal by buying things for women instead of making them spend it themselves.

  6. I hate women like this cause if If I do take the lead and choose where to go and what to eat you complain that you don’t like it then I say you choose and then you don’t know dumb bitches

  7. Sure…. we could make a plan…. but then you'd spend the next ten minutes critiqueing, disecting and asking "Why'd you pick that place? Don't you like this other place? Weren't you gonna ask me what I wanted?" Etc. etc. etc. When the truth is WE really dont care where we go. WE are just interested in you.

  8. YouTube, stop recommending female comedians to me. I keep stating how not funny women are. I have also clicked on the "not interested" option but you keep recommending female comedians. It's as if you're trying to change my mind. Just give up already.

  9. Let me just say this for all men… I am not going on a date to please you. If you want to "pay for your own dinner and eat ALONEEEEEEEEEE." That's fine, Ill be out there getting to know someone I might actually want to spend more time with, and yes I will pay for her dinner.

  10. If you offer to pay for it I’m going to say sure if you want because I date people who are grown ups and don’t play those game like you pull that shit I’ll be I’ll pay but it’s the last time I’m paying for your initialed little self

  11. is this how she normally speaks or is she drunk off her ass? rambling drunk at the bar. ….and people paid to see her? lmao

  12. I dont get why y'all dont appreciate this stand up, what just bc of her accent??? She's funny as fuck and I love the accent.

  13. I try, and I try to give women comedians a genuine chance and every time it's like having sex with Whitney Cummings… miserable and depressing. For any woman reading this, be better. And be original, the dick jokes and pussy jokes and relationship shit is funny if we're living in the fucking 80's, step ur god damn game up cause the worst male comic is still funnier than any female comic dead or alive, except Carol Burnett she's a fucking god.

  14. She sounds like Kathleen Madigan and that's hot enough and funny too.

    Ladies, the secret is that you learn or be inspired by the best female comic, Joan Rivers. I'm just saying….😏

  15. "Women find it hot when a man makes a plan. They also love it when a man
    is spontaneous. But, above all: Women reserve the right to change their
    mind at any second…..and be UNATTRACTED to you for making a plan OR
    being spontaneous."—-Jesus Christ

  16. They want equality but you have to keep paying for her dinner lol. Do you know what happens 30 years after you spoil a kid? This…

  17. She also some how won a Roast Battle, her timing is weird on these jokes the audience didn't know what to laugh at it was a mess. She needs to come with better material next time.

  18. That's because if I was honest with you about what I wanted to eat you'd call me a fucking pervert. So I pretend like I give a shit about what you want to eat instead

  19. But dating is so expensive for men and gay women and shit. Its so expensive and if you don't have money then you can't be with someone like that. Its hard and expensive and shit.

  20. Restaurants? Dinner? Buahahahahha!!!! Boys, you are doing it all wrong if you're wasting money on dinner. Jebuz. "BLOW ME UP TOM"

  21. The viscous circle of-
    " I think it's hot when he plans stuff"
    Turns into
    " How come you don't ask me what I want to do???"
    So we ask them- repeat cycle
    Either way we're wrong. Enter frustration

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