Top 5 Hiking Tips – Staying Alive Comedy


Hi! My name is [Henry Johnson]! I’m here to teach you about proper techniques…about how to hike properly. What you wanna do before you hike is – before, you have to stretch every five minutes or so, to avoid cramps and avoid being eaten by wildlife. And it’s also important to get proper hiking shoes, such as these! It’s always important to set realistic goals for yourself before you go hiking. Like if you want to hike three miles a day, your brain won’t even want to do it. I had a friend once…who only wanted to go for a five mile hike. I was like, dude! Why go for five when you could do five…hundred! This got him to motivate himself. And when he came home from the hospital later that week he told me what a great experience he had, hiking five hundred miles that day. Igneous rocks such as these, were used back in cave man times where they would be used either as tools or as weapons. We see here that these rusty, ancient nails have been nailed to this tree. These rocks such as these, were perfect to nail these nails into the tree. But they were also used as weapons to throw at animals or even at other people, like this! *smack* “Owww!” That was awesome! Let’s keep going! Now it’s always important to find any signs of wildlife during your hike. That way you can avoid them at all costs! Trees such as these are a sure sign that a bear has been in this area. They have shaken the tree, knocked down the leaves, and therefore have marked their territory. To avoid any bears that might come in this area be sure to have some honey on you and smear it all over yourself to act as a bear repellent! This is important! Water is going to be your best friend when you go out hiking! Now you always have to ask yourself, “where does the land seem more thirsty?” Makes sense, right? That is the direction that you’ll want to go. The drier the land seems to be the more chances that water is going to be there! That place over there looks dry and it’s on high ground! Let’s go get some water! *Dun dun dun!!!*

6 Replies to “Top 5 Hiking Tips – Staying Alive Comedy”

  1. When he came home from the hospital hahahaha. Great stuff. Thanks for subbing us man! it means a lot. Def subbing you! great content!

  2. This is great lol. After these tips I finally realize what Ive been doing wrong. Can't wait to go on a 500mile hike and implement everything I have learned

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