Treebo Comedy Trips – Atul Khatri in Gurugram – Indians, Tissues and Gifting Issues


To all those people planning to go for a trip, a holiday trip, a beachy place, or a resort-y place. You can go to any shop, anywhere in India, go and ask for resort wear. See, resort wear, they have ready-made packs for Indians. Consists of, for males, consists of a cap, goggles, cut sleeve t-shirt, money belt, bermuda shorts that reach up to your knees, socks also which reach up to your knees, Keds, and a haversack. With this you are set, With this you are set, You can conquer the world. What’s also available in these shops
is something called as swimwear. See, swimwear is different. It’s like a full body suit for women. Like a body suit, covers your arms, neck, face, everything! On top of it, it’s a regular swim suit. Perfect for the conservative woman hitting a beach or a pool. Or any other woman who wants to swim across the English channel. So, we got clothes sorted out, let’s go to food. Since we’re talking about food,
where are all the Gujaratis in the audience? Since we’re talking about food,
where are all the Gujaratis in the audience?
Any Gujaratis? Make some noise. Any Gujaratis? Make some noise. First of all, let’s give a round of applause to the Gujaratis. Today we are surrounded by Gujaratis. Our Prime Minister is Gujarati, RBI Governor is Gujarati, Our Finance Minister is Gujarati. No, I’m not talking about Arun Jaitley, No, I’m not talking about Arun Jaitley, I’m talking about Mukesh Bhai. But tell us, Gujaratis, what do we have to carry whenever we go abroad? Sab bolo, sab bolo … Khakhra, Thepla, Chevda, Dhokla … Let’s give a round of applause to these Gujaratis for inventing these. Come on. Nai, seriously. Because even though they have invented it, all of us carry it. Sindhis, Punjabi, Maharashtrians, Catholics, Jews, Terrorists! Terrorists have stopped taking dry fruits – too expensive. Last year they caught a terrorist in Bombay, In his bag, they found six Theplas, little Chhonda and Mukhwas. But then I’m a Sindhi, worse than these Gujaratis. On my last trip, I did not take any of these. I, in fact, took a Gujarati family along with me. I swear on you, their clothes bag was so small And their food bag was so huge! And that year, thanks to Mr. Bachchan, I went to Gujarat for a holiday. Gujarati friend, carrying Gujarati food, inside Gujarat! It’s like three levels of that movie, Inception,
happening right here, man. Very important. Remember this. You can leave India without your money, without your wife, without your passport, nai passport you’ll require, But one thing you cannot leave India without, especially when you’re going to the USA and Europe, is the Lota! Everybody uses water in the morning? See, we Indians cannot use tissue paper in the morning. Because our Indian food is so spicy, what if that tissue paper catches fire in the morning? How the hell do we … See, let me explain to you. If this is the world map, India falls at 77 degrees longitude. We have Dubai here, 55 degrees longitude. Singapore, 102 degrees longitude. This is called Water Land. Lota Land. Safe for us Indians. On both sides of the longitude, it becomes Tissue Land. Somewhere in Saudi Arabia, they also use sand paper. But let’s not go there. Because let’s face it, since childhood we Indians have not got adequate
training to use the tissue properly. Either we pull too much of tissue, or we make a bloody complete mess out of it. And that dirty, horrible, yucky feeling walking whole day long … oh my god, yaar, don’t know how
these foreigners do it, yaar, seriously. I went to London few years back with my wife and true story, we were staying in a hotel over there. At 2:30 in the night, the fire alarm went off. Some bloody idiot was smoking in his room. And you know how these foreigners take their fire alarms so seriously. I don’t know why! At 2:30, they came banging, “Out, out! Everybody out!” I swear on you, I forgot my wife, my children, my passport. I, first, ran to the bathroom, picked up my Lota and ran off. It was literally, pehle apni g**nd bachao! See, how much ever the Indian economy has opened up and things are available everywhere at half the prices, still whenever you go abroad, your friends and relatives expect you to get something. But we do we do; the bloody dollar is at 65-66 and we have to pay our hotels, our sightseeing, our tickets, our insurance … we are not Modi ji, you know. So how do we arrange for all these things? So, I’m saying start looking for return gifts inside your hotel rooms. Start from the bathroom first. Shower cap, shower gels, shower curtains, Soaps, moisturizers … tissue roll! Tissue roll makes a fantastic return gift. “Hi, Atul. Kya laaya mere liye?” “Hi, Atul. Kya laaya mere liye?”
“Yaar tere kuch nai laaya, lekin tu next year Europe ja raha hai na?” “Yaar tere kuch nai laaya, lekin tu next year Europe ja raha hai na?” “Poore family ke liye, practice karo ek saal ke liye.” And the best thing is tea sachets. As soon as housekeeping fills it, take it and put it in your bag. See, all the chors are clapping and laughing over there. Then call up the housekeeping after some time Then call up the housekeeping after some time
“Hello, we need some more tea.” “Hello, we need some more tea.” “But, sir, we just replenished it.” So what, bh******d? We drink so much tea! Saley aap long ne toh humko chai banana sikhaya. “Hi, Atul. What did you get for me from Malaysia, Thailand, Singapore?” “Oh, you’re on a detox diet, no? I got for you a lot of tea.” “Oh, thanks. Which flavours?” “Oh, thanks. Which flavours?”
Assorted – all from different hotels. Assorted – all from different hotels. And if you miss things at the hotel, don’t worry, our aeroplane is waiting for us at the tarmac. Be the first Indian to get into the toilet and clean out all the toiletries. and clean out all the toiletries. And come and sit on your seat, think, look around. The puke bag, the airlines magazine. The puke bag, the airlines magazine. “The oxygen mask which falls in certain cases of cabin pressure … ” Kheech lo bh******d kabhi kaam hi nai aaya saala. “Hi, Atul. Kya laaya mere liye?” “Yaar tere liye sacchi kuch samajh nai aaya, “Yaar tere liye sacchi kuch samajh nai aaya, lekin tere Dada ji ki tabiyat theek nai rehti hai na? Mast imported oxygen mask laaya unke liye.” “Aur mere bacche ke liye kuch nai laaya?” “Arrey kaise bhool sakta hoon usko, swimming seekh raha hai na? Uske liye yellow vest laya hoon. Daal ke paani mein phenk dena. Automatically inflate ho jayega, ek laal batti jalegi, dekh sakega woh L*** kidhar swimming kar raha hai.” For more such amazing content Please subscribe to Treebo Comedy Trips

100 Replies to “Treebo Comedy Trips – Atul Khatri in Gurugram – Indians, Tissues and Gifting Issues”

  1. seriously
    bangalis , 'rich' south indians and jains are worst travelers. restaurant me bhencho ese khate he jese khana pehli baar dekha ho.

  2. Dubai and Saudi Arabia also have water in all the washrooms…speaking as an NRI who's been to both so these jokes aren't just falling flat because they're unfunny it's also because they're inaccurate.

    ……and the joke where he goes catholics , Jews , the next Abrahamic faith in line was naturally Muslims , and he goes "terrorists", nasty af.

  3. treebo is running out of marketing idea and got royally jacked after OYO taking over the industry😂😂😂😂 they are coming out with uncool idea like this for brand visibility😮😮 after the the flop show shoot the scared CEO made a vedio which makes him looks like ( treebo ko tho lagaii )

  4. This is pretty offensive… i know its a comedy standup show but you should consider all ethenicities before making fun of them.

  5. Dekhlena vo lodu kidhr swim kr rha h 😂😂😂😂 fuck it was terrible ♥️😂😂😂

  6. that tissue paper and fire joke was taken from the kapil sharma show and he build the whole plot arround it

  7. बोरिंग परफॉरमेंस भैंचो।

  8. Here you go.. Terrorists..
    Didn't expect this from you…
    Your education is a waste..
    I was listening you but after this I won't.

  9. Such a such a pathetic audience.
    Itna boring audience agar rahega toh a comedian will feel totally discouraged & will gradually lose interest & energy..

  10. Bhosadi k Mukesh Ambani Congress government me bhi itna hi powerful tha jitna ki BJP government me. Aur Prime minister koi bhi sab foreign trip pe desh k paise se hi jate hai

  11. Kichlo bhechod koi kaam hi nahi hai uska…😀😀😀😀😀😂😂😂

  12. All he talks is about how well he’s settled that’s it … world trips with family and being ceo and all…

  13. अंग्रेजी में क्यों? सफेद लोग नहीं जानते कि यह मूर्ख कौन है।

  14. Terrorists too take up thepla, khakara🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  15. Soo what you think one should wear in a holidy trip out of india in australia or in egypt🙄🙄🙄& thermocot 🙁or jockey
    Hit like if you understand

  16. My parents were traveling with my wife and infant kid for the first time.

    My father actually brought home that little swimming vest!!

    He thought it was a gift like the toys that were given to the kids onboard…
    🤦

  17. "what if the tissue catches fire" this joke has been copied from Kapil Sharma's one of comedy circus act! 🤔

  18. They've stopped keeping tea bags in European hotels now …we are in a five star hotel we changed 3 hotels by now we didn't find a single hotel with tea bags .😂😂

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *